Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A few days before his proctologic exam, a one-eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for awhile, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor’s office, the man followed the doctor’s instructions, undressed and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man’s rear was that glass eye staring right back at him! Taken aback, the doctor said, “You know, you really must…
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A man has a glass eye, and every night he takes it out and puts it in a glass of water. One morning, half asleep, he picks up the glass and swallows his glass eye. The eye travels almost through his system, but gets stuck in the last mile. Things are starting to back up. The guy goes to his Dr. and tells the Dr. he has a pain in his lower back. He says nothing about the glass eye.…
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One summer, the company Dave worked for transferred him to another city, and Dave was told that he had to take a new physical with the company doctor. All the tests came out fine, but the doctor remarked that Dave had the smallest dick he’d ever seen. “Do you have any difficulties with its being so small?” the doc asked. “Shit, no,” Dave said. “I’ve got a wife, three kids, and a great sex life. But I do sometimes have…
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Children’s Comments An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?” Children on Religion….. A mother…
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Did you here about the Jones baby? He was born without any eye lids, so the doctors decided to use the skin from his circimcision to make him eyelids. The operation went great but they said they would have to wait a couple of weeks to see if was going to be cock-eyed.
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In the newspaper the other day there was a story of a newborn that was born without any eyelids. The doctor told the young couplethat there was nothing to worry about, since it was early enough, that when their son was circumsized, the foreskin could be grafted on as eyelids. I don’t know about you, but I feel sorry for that young kid. He’s gonna grow up COCKEYED!
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A man needs to get an artificial eye due to a work injury. The eye doctor shows him a glass eye and a wooden eye. He can only afford the wooden eye so he buys it. He is embarassed to have a wooden eye and doesn’t socialize. He hears of a handicap dance and desides that he would risk going, thinking that no one would make fun of him at the dance since they have disabilities too. When he gets…
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Jim and Ted play golf together every Monday. Jim always wins because Ted is a terrible putter. One Monday, Ted can’t miss. He sinks every shot on the green. Jim can’t believe his eyes! After the round, Jim asks, “What has happened? You can’t miss today.” Ted says, “Order up the beer, I have to go to the bathroom”. When Ted comes back the front of his pants are all wet. Confused, Jim asks “What happened to your pants?” “I’ll…
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The following are direct quotes taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians: By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it had completely disappeared. She has had no shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.…
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An optometrist operates on a hippie painter’s girlfriend and saves her eyesight. The hippie painter is so grateful that he goes to the doctor’s house one day, while the doctor has office hours, goes inside and paints a huge eye on an entire wall of the living room, leaving the fireplace as the pupil of the eye. He’s just finishing up when the doctor walks in. He says to the doctor, “Well, do you like it man?” The doctor says,…
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