Excitement Jokes

Lunch Time Excitement

Two Texans were having lunch at their favorite restaurant when they noticed a young woman at the next table having trouble breathing. One of the Texans got up, walked over to her table, took her face in his big Texan hands and said, “Kin ya swaller?” She shook her head ‘no.’ “Kin ya breath?” Again she shakes her head ‘no.’ The Texan grabs her around the waist with one of his big Texan hands, turns her over, pulls up her…

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Sherlock Holmes

One evening, Dr. Watson paid an unexpected call on Holmes. “Is he expecting you?” asked the housekeeper. “No,” said Watson, “but I just need to speak with him for a minute.” “I don’t know what he’s up to,” said the housekeeper, “but he left very strict instructions not to be disturbed until nine o’clock”. “I’ll wait downstairs in the library,” replied Watson. A few minutes later, Watson heard the unmistakable sound of girlish laughter coming from the detective’s bedroom, followed…

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Crazy Engineers

A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the “craziest” thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child’s toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island. Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost…

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Who’s the Moron?

One day a man named Olaf walks into the office of a headhunter and says, “I WON A DOB!” The headhunter looks up over the top of his glasses and says, “Excuse me?” Once again the man says, “I WON A DOB!” “Oh,” the headhunter says. “You want a job, I see…what is it you do?” The man says, “I’m a Diesel Fitter.” With this the headhunter turns on his laptop and types vigorously to search his computer files in…

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Welcome to Amish country

One day a man named Bob found himself down on his luck. He had just recently lost his job and hadn’t had a date in months. He decides to leave the city and move to the country, to live with his cousin, Mark. Having never visited the beautiful Pennsylvania countryside, Bob is filled with excitement. The next day, his cousin Mark arrives at the train station to pick up Bob. He finds Bob grinning from ear to ear. “What are…

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Search for a Life Partner

When I was in junior-high, all I wanted was a girl with great figure. In high school, I dated a girl with great figure, but there was no passion. So, I decided I needed a passionate girl. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency and she cried all the time. So, I decided I needed a girl with some stability. I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She…

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Lookie Here!

An old golfer was starting to have a very hard time during his game. Since he was 85, it was not unusual that his eyesight was not what it used to be. He would drive the ball quite well, but even though he wore eyeglasses he could not see where the ball would go. Hoping to solve the problem, he asked his older brother, who still had excellent eyesight, for some help. So they both went out on the course…

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3 Little Indians Go To School

When the new school year started, the history teacher was so excited because there were three little American Indian boys in her class. She was beside herself with excitement. So she asked the first little Indian boy to stand up and tell the class what tribe he was from and how he knew this. The little boy stood up and proudly threw out his chest. Then he took his fist and hit it on his chest. He said in a…

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50 Reasons to be a Woman

1.Free drinks. 2.Free dinners. 3.Free movies (you get the point). 4.You can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you’re gay. 5.You can hug your friend without wondering if YOU’RE gay. 6.You know ‘The Truth’ about whether size matters. 7.Speeding ticket? What’s that? 8.New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life. 9.You never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in high school. 10.If you have sex with someone and don’t call them…

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