Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There once was a blonde, brunette and a red head. They were all stranded on a deserted island. One day they were all walking along the beach when they came across a lamp. They decided to rub it hoping a genie would appear and grant them three wishes. So they rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared saying to them, “I shall grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, you can all have one wish each.”…
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Bill buys a parrot for his family in the White House one day. So they go on a vacation and Bill tells the secret service to keep good care of it. While away the bird dies, so the secret service go in and out of every pet shop looking for a new parrot. One agent goes into a pet shop and sees the same exact bird. Markings and everything. So he goes to the owner and says, “Sir, I need…
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A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. “Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army,” the general said. “Nothing to it–you’ll catch on again fast.” Next morning, promptly at eight o’clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general’s bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around to…
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Maria just got married. Her hubbie came home and took off his work gloves. Maria phoned her mother. “Mother, my husband’s got hairy hands!” “Don’t worry Maria, all good men have hairy hands.The same thing happened, but only he took his top off. Her mother said exactly the same thing. Then, he took off his shoes and Maria realised his one foot was only half a one. She phoned her mother. “Ma ma, ma ma, my hubbie’s got a foot…
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*************************************** IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp Winter’s afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the sofa in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your wife enters the room and says, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Is this a trick question? Yes, it is. The…
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(Scene 1) KATE WINSLET: My, this is a fancy boat, isn’t it? KATE’S WEASELLY FIANCE: Yes, it certainly is. Here is the art you asked for. It is by an artist named “Picasso.” I am certain he will amount to nothing. KATE: Ha ha ha. That is very funny to our 90’s audience, because they know these priceless paintings will sink with the boat. LEONARDO DiCAPRIO: Hello, I’m Leonardo DiCaprio. Perhaps you have seen the many Internet sites dedicated to…
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Julius and Irving, two very religious Jewish men, visited Marcus Pinkus the tailor to have new black suits made. When they went to pick up the suits, Julius looked at his suit very carefully; held it up to the light, walked over to the window and examined it more carefully and then proclaimed, “Marcus, this suit is navy blue. It’s not black!” “Trust me,” said Marcus, “it’s black!” “Irving, what do you think? Blue, or black?” asked Julius. “To tell…
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Two priests were done for the day and decided to head for the showers. When they got in they realized neither one had brought soap, so one of them says, “I’ll be alright to go out in the hall naked just to get some soap”, so out he goes and is on his way back with 2 bars of soap when 3 nuns come walking down the hall. The priest froze and pretended he was a statue, with the bars…
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On a cruise ship touring the Mediterranean, there was a magician who would perform a cabaret act every night in the ship’s bar. Now, also in that bar, there was a parrot, who from his vantage point near the ceiling could see exactly how each trick was done. Every night was the same. Everytime he performed a trick the parrot would yell to the audience how the trick was done: “It’s up his sleeve!” or “Look under the table!” The…
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If your goal in life is to do as little as possible, and you get away with that…does that make you successful? If love is blind and marriage is an institution, does that mean that marriage is an institution for the blind? If you can buy more memory for your computer…why can’t people? What does an imperfect stranger look like? The term “free gift” never made sense to me…has anybody ever said to you…”I bought you a gift, now that…
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