Eart Jokes

Heart Condition

A nervous man with a heart condition, accompanied by his nagging wife, was being examined by a doctor. After checking the chart, he nodded and wrote the man a prescription for a super powerful tranquilizer. The man asked, “How often do I take these?” “Once every six hours. But they’re not for you,” replied the doctor. “They’re for your wife.”

(2)Loading...

Read JokeHeart Condition

God travels to Earth

One day God decided to take a trip to Earth, and as he was traveling, He come up to a man who was crying. “My son, why are you crying?” The Lord asked. “Well,” the man sobs, “I was born blind and I have never been able to see the beautiful sunset.” So the Lord heals him and he able to see and the man is happy. Then God travels a little further and notices another man crying. “My son…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeGod travels to Earth

A Change of Heart

Matters had progressed to the point where the freshman and his date were naked in the motel bed when the girl had a change of heart. “I suppose you’re going to tell me now that you’re waiting for ‘Mr. Right’,” he said dejectedly. “That’s a silly old romantic notion,” laughed the coed. “I’m just waiting for Mr. Big.”

(1)Loading...

Read JokeA Change of Heart

Eat Your Heart Out, Mick Jagger!

British conductor and organist Sir Malcolm Sargent was chief conductor at the London Promenade Concerts during the last century, and did much to bring classical music alive for younger audiences. As he was preparing to leave the Albert Hall in London after a concert one evening, Sir Malcolm overheard the following brief exchange between two young girls: “How I envy Sir Malcolm.” “You mean his conducting?” “Oh, no, not that. I mean his neat little flat behind.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeEat Your Heart Out, Mick Jagger!

The “REAL” creation of Earth

IN THE BEGINNING In the beginning there was the computer. And God said %Let there be light! #Enter user id. %God #Enter password. %Omniscient #Password incorrect. Try again. %Omnipotent #Password incorrect. Try again. %Technocrat #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. %Let there be light! #Unrecognizable command. Try again. %Create light #Done %Run heaven and earth #And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors. #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe “REAL” creation of Earth

MEANEST ANIMAL ON EARTH

Three men were arguing which animal was the meanest. The first said, “A lion was meanest with big claws and teeth it could tear a person up in a second.” The second man said, “No, it has to be a rhinocerous with that big horn and thick hide it could tear a house down in a minute.” The third man said, “No, the meanest animal on earth is a crocagator.” The other two said, “What the hell is a crocagator.…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeMEANEST ANIMAL ON EARTH

Way They Breed ‘Em in the Heartland

Harry Truman was known for his blunt manner of speaking. When he made a speech at the Washington Garden Club, he kept referring to the “good manure” that needed to be used on the flowers. Some society women complained to his wife, Bess. “Couldn’t you get the President to say ‘fertilizer’?” they asked. Mrs. Truman replied, “Heavens, no! It took me twenty-five years to get him to say ‘manure.’”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWay They Breed ‘Em in the Heartland