Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
At a Greenwich Village Ball a young woman presented herself entirely without clothes. The doorman stopped her, with these words: Miss this is a costume Ball. We don’t mind how few clothes you have on, but you are supposed to represent something. The woman went to the ladies dressing room and shortly reappeared with nothing on save a pair of black shoes and black gloves. The doorman stopped her and asked what she was supposed to be. “Can’t you see…
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“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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A traveling salesman visits to a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading, “Don’t miss the Amazing Goldstein!” Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts. Animals, clowns, contortionists, and other questionable acts. Finally the trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There in the middle of the ring is a table with three walnuts on it. In comes a little old Jewish man, five feet tall and barely…
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This guy sees an ad for a new number in the circus, so he goes an tries out. He brings with him an alligator, a monkey, and a toy piano. The circus director says, “What can you do?” “Well, my alligator plays the piano and the monkey sings.” The circus director does not believe this, but the guy proves it. They soon become the number 1 act in all the world’s circuses. Once, however, in Japan, a show is about…
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A recently married young Rabbi went to his congregation, informed them of his wife’s pregnancy and asked for a raise in wages that would allow him a reasonable salary. After due deliberation, they all agreed that the increase in family size warranted the raise and informed the Rabbi. As time went on and after 6 births in six years, a meeting was called to complain that the cost was becoming burdensome. Addressing the congregation, the Rabbi said that having children…
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Little Johnny was thrilled when his turn came to enter kindergarten. To make sure he had plenty of time to eat a good breakfast and get ready on the first day, his mother woke everybody up early–so early that it was still dark. After looking outside, Little Johnny went down the hall and found his mother dressing in the bedroom. He looked so troubled that his mother asked, “What’s wrong?” mustering as much cheerfulness into her voice as she could…
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Day 1. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried. Wussy. Day 2. Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I don’t know! I mean, gimme a break. He’s been dysfunctional for so long that he…
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A guy decides to take off work early from work and go drinking. He stays in the bar until it closes at 2 a.m. By then, he is extremely drunk. When he gets back to his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone up, so he takes off his shoes and starts tiptoeing up the stairs. Halfway up the stairs, he loses his balance, falls over backwards, and lands flat on his rear end. That wouldn’t have been so bad,…
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How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so you can complain and whine even more about how you’re getting fat. 4. Get in the shower.…
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