Doc doc Jokes

Trust Me, I’m a Doctor!

A few days before his proctologic exam, a one-eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for awhile, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor’s office, the man followed the doctor’s instructions, undressed and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man’s rear was that glass eye staring right back at him! Taken aback, the doctor said, “You know, you really must…

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Blonde goes to docter part 2

A blonde was working on painting her house when all of a sudden the ladder falls on top of her and she passes out. Not remembering any thing about it, The blonde goes and scratches her self. She feels a pain and immediatley goes to her docter. She sits down and the docter asks her what happened. Well docter, I was painting my house when the ladder fell on top of me and I passed out.That is all I remember.…

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Trust your Doctor

A man has a glass eye, and every night he takes it out and puts it in a glass of water. One morning, half asleep, he picks up the glass and swallows his glass eye. The eye travels almost through his system, but gets stuck in the last mile. Things are starting to back up. The guy goes to his Dr. and tells the Dr. he has a pain in his lower back. He says nothing about the glass eye.…

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Doctor Visit

One day a woman went to her doctor for her physical. After all of the routine checks and ‘female’ exam, she was given great results. Very happy and excited, she went home to meet her husband. “How did it go?” he asked. “Wonderful,” she said, “the doctor said I have a tight package.” “Did he say anything about your BIG ASS?” “Nope, he didn’t mention YOUR name the whole time I was there!!”

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2 Prostitutes on a Dock

Two prostitutes are walking on a dock when one turns to the other, “I need to make bubbles.” The other replies, “Well hang your ass over the pier. I’ll keep watch.” After a few minutes she comes to see what’s taking so long, and exclaims, “Hey, you’re pissing into a canoe!” The other snarls back, “F**k you bitch – that’s my reflection!!”

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Doctor’s Office

Herman is walking up to a doctor’s office when a nun comes running out screaming. Herman walks in and says, “What’s with the nun?” The doctor says, “I just told her that she’s pregnant.” Herman says, “The nun is pregnant?” The doctor says, “No, but it certainly cured her hiccups.”

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Doctor’s Visit

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor pulled the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. He will surely die if you don’t do the following: Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.…

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Doctor’s Office

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn’t considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, “I’m delivering him to my doctor’s office.” The other…

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