Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
girl: I’d like a triple vanilla ice-cream sundae with chocolate syrup, nuts, and lots of whipped cream. waiter: is that with a cherry on top? girl: heavens no! I’m on a diet. An accountant got out of bed and complained that he had not slept a wink . “why didn’t you count sheep?” his wife asked “I did, that is what got me into trouble,” the accountant replied ” I made a mistake during the first hour, and it took…
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A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She’d made her family’s favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they’d eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she had cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack…
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An 85-year-old couple, after being happily married for almost 60 years, died together in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife’s interest in health food and proper diet. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their luxury mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bedroom suite and a fancy in-house jacuzzi. The old man asked St. Peter how much all this was…
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Just match the Chinese interpretation to the English and speak Chinese in just 5 min! E: Are you harboring a fugitive? C: Hu Yu Hai Ding? E: See me A.S.A.P. C: Kum Hia Nao E: Stupid Man C: Dum Gai E: Your price is too high! C: No Bai Dam Ting! E: Did you go to the beach? C: Wai Yu So Tan? E: I bumped into a coffee table C: I Bang Mai Ni E: I think you need…
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50. Act Naturally 49. Found Missing 48. Resident Alien 47. Advanced BASIC 46. Genuine Imitation 45. Airline Food 44. Good Grief 43. Same Difference 42. Almost Exactly 41. Government Organization 40. Sanitary Landfill 39. Alone Together 38. Legally Drunk 37. Silent Scream 36. British Fashion 35. Living Dead 34. Small Crowd 33. Business Ethics 32. Soft Rock 31. Butt Head 30. Military Intelligence 29. Software Documentation 28. New York Culture 27. New Classics 26. Sweet Sorrow 25. Childproof 24. “Now,…
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An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery. One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile was cherubic. “This is a very special coffeecake,” he explained. “I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning, and there in the window was a host of goodies. I felt this…
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A businessman was feeling rather ill and went to see the Doctor about it. “Well, it must be your diet,”, reported the doctor. “what sort of greens do you eat?” “Well,” the man replies. “I only eat peas. I hate all other green foods”. “Well man, that’s your problem…legume intolerance. Those peas will be clogging up your system, you’ll have to give them up.” “But how long? I mean, I really like peas!” “Forever, I’m afraid,” intoned the doctor. The…
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Only in America…can a pizza get to your house faster that an ambulance… Only in America…are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink… Only in America…do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry and a diet coke… Only in America…do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters… Only in America…do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the…
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Q: How come a lesbian can’t be on a diet and wear make-up at the same time? A: Because you can’t eat Jenny Craig when you already have Mary Kay on your face.
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Parents are embarrassing, Take my dad. Every time a friend comes to stay the night, he does something that makes my face go red. Now don’t get me wrong. He is a terrific dad. I love him but sometimes I think he will never grow up. He loves playing practical jokes. This behavior first started one night when Anna came to sleep over. Unknown to me, dad sneaks into my room and puts Doona, our cat, on the spare bed.…
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