Deep shit Jokes

Deep Shit!

Some dude is in the jungle on a safari, while photographing birds he loses track of his group, and suddenly he stands in front of a native tribe. He says to himself, “Now I?m in really deep shit!” Suddenly, for the first time in his life he hears a divine voice from above: “No, You?re not. Do you see that big rock in front of you?” “Y-yes!” the man says. The voice booms, “Pick it up and throw it in…

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Powerful Shit

Shit may just be the most powerful word in the English language. You can be shit faced, shit out of luck, or have shit for brains With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or decide to shit or get off the pot. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit and die. Some people know their shit while others…

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Lil’ Johnny on Politics

Lil’ Johnny goes up to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well, Son, let me try to explain it this way. I’m the bread winner of the family, so lets call me capitalism. Mummy is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you The People. The nanny– well, consider her as the working class. Your baby brother, we’ll call him the future.…

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Lil Johnny

Lil’ Johnny on Politics Lil’ Johnny goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you The People. The nanny- well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we’ll call him The…

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Is That How It Really Happened?

Every night just before bedtime, Little Johnny listens to his father reading fairy tales. Having a deep sense of humor, his father usually ad-libs some parts of the fairy tales just for fun. One day, Little Johnny is in class listening to the teacher reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. The teacher reads, “… and the little pig met a man pushing a wheelbarrow full of straw. So the little pig said to the man, ‘Excuse me, mister.…

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Sayings that should be on BUTTONS

01. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 02. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 03. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? 04. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 05. Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after. 06. Do I look like a fricking people person? 07. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 08. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 09.…

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Horror Scopes

ARIES You tend to be a headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don’t give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn’t care less. You’re the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding. TAURUS Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you’re bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss. GEMINI Your star sign denotes an air of duality in…

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