Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This soldier had been stationed overseas and was fooling around on his wife. She was back home in the states. She found out about it through some anonymous letters. The soldier gets a package from his wife. He finds inside a batch of homemade cookies and a video tape of his favorite stateside TV shows. He invites a couple of buddies over to watch the tape. They’re all having a great time eating the cookies and watching episodes of “South…
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A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks her what she’s doing and she replies, “I went to the doctor today and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old.” “Oh yeah?” the husband says, “What did he say about your 50 year old ass?” “Frankly dear, your name didn’t come up in the conversation.”
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The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was empty. When he confronted his wife, she simply said, “It’s my turn.” “What do you mean, your turn?” yelled the husband. “In bed,” she explained, “you’ve been making early withdrawals for years. Now, it’s my turn.”
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Dear Abby: I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much, I’m not even sure this baby I’m carrying is his! Dear Abby: I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again. Dear Abby: My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month. I’d like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you think…
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A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife: Dear Wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I’ll be home before…
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On one spring day there was this eighty-five year old man and eighty year old woman who had just gotten married. On their way to their honeymoon the old man looks at his new bride and thinks to himself, after all these years he is finally going to get laid again. When they finally arrive at the hotel the old couple starts to unpack. At that time the wife decides to go the bathroom to freshen up. While she is…
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A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule at 2 a.m. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. She sleepily sat up and said, “Mike, Dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I’ve got a splitting headache.” “Certainly,…
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A couple decide to go to a Halloween party one year. So they dressed up as two cows and headed out for the party.. While on their way, the car broke down and they were stranded. As the man walked around the car kicking and cussing , He noticed the house they were going to was just accross the pasture. “Well,” said the man. “I guess we can walk through the pasture and be there in a minute or two…
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A frustrated wife sent a desperate letter to the advice column of her local newspaper. ————————— Dear Gabby, I have a very loving husband. He loves me day and night. He loves me while working, sleeping, eating — anywhere and anytime. What should I do? Signed, Frustrated Wife P.S. Sorry for the jerky handwriting. ————————— Dear Frustrated Wife, Stop complaining and get a typewriter. -Gabby
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Mark Twain’s wife did her best to censor the more colorful aspects of her husband’s language. One morning he cut himself shaving and cursed long and loud. When he stopped, his wife tried to shame him by repeating to him verbatim all the profanities that he had just uttered. Twain heard her out and then remarked, “You have the words, my dear, but I’m afraid you’ll never master the tune.”
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