Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Technology for Country Folk… 1. LOG ON: Makin a wood stove hotter. 2. LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood. 3. MONITOR: Keepin an eye on the wood stove. 4. DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truk. 5. MEGA HERTZ: When yer not kerful gettin the farwood. 6. FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood. 7. RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood. 8. HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time. 9. PROMPT: Whut…
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Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable, because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I’m lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was too humiliating to reveal. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.…
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Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary DAY 752 – My captors continue to torment me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some piece of their furniture. I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another. DAY 761…
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Subject: Theories on anything Date: 12/29/98 **************************************** A contest was held for people to submit their theories on just about any darned thing they wanted to. Below are the winners. **************************************** RUNNER-UP: Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people’s ear pressures, so they then yawn to even it out. RUNNER-UP: Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms…
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Sven and and his wife, Ola, a couple of Norwegians, now living in Minnesota, head for the fair in Duluth. The first thing to catch Sven’s eye is the big double ferris wheel. “Oh, Ole,” he says, “vould you look at dat! I’ve always vanted to go on von of dose big ferris veels. Let’s go ride on dat von.” Ole, not being as adventurous as her husband, Sven, says, “Oh, I don’t tink so. Dat looks kind of dangerous…
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A couple was driving to California on vacation with their young son. As they passed the Colorado River, the boy suddenly shouted out, “Look, Dad, a dang!” His father, having no idea what his son was talking about, asked, “What is a dang, son?” The little boy replied, “Well, it’s really a dam but you told me not to cuss!”
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I have always been a critic of Seattle driving, but recently I had a chance to see how others drive in far away countries, such as China. Since then, I have developed a profound respect for how we drive here in the Northwest. Why? What could be so bad about the driving in China? Here is a collection of short observations I have made riding in the Great Country of China. While Driving in China……………………… Traffic signals are (how should…
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The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…
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A man starts his confession by telling the priest he has sinned by cursing the Lord and taking his name in vain. The priest, who is Irish, asks, “And tell me my son, What were the grievous and calamitous circumstances that caused you to curse God and use his name in vain?” The sinner says,”Well, father, I was playing golf, and I was finishing the best round ever, when on the 18th tee my drive slices into the rough.” “And…
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MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET WOMAN: A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS ELEMENT: Woman SYMBOL: WO (Varies HO depending on which periodic table is used) DISCOVERER: Adam ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg but known to vary from 40-200kg. OCCURRENCES: Migrates in clusters. Copious quantities in all urban areas. PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Surface usually covered in painted film. 2. Boils at nothing, freezes without known reason. 3. Melts if given special treatment. 4. Bitter if incorrectly used. 5. Found in various states from virgin metal…
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