Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
So this lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out…caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time. But…
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You know you should retire to Florida?. When your wife gives your favorite polyester leisure suit to Goodwill and a teenager shows up at your door wearing it on Halloween night. When you throw away your alarm clock and let your bladder wake you up at 7am every morning. When you mention Pearl Harbor to your Grandson and he says he heard of her didn?t she use to sing with a big band? When you realize that you have underwear…
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Matt and Lennie’s Do’s and Don’t Do’s… For Dating: DO – Take pride in your apperance. DON’T – Stick a 1988 Blue Jays pennent in your ear. DO – Use cutlery. DON’T – Use it to pick your teeth. DO – Apply a nice fragrance. DON’T – Apply a wrestling hold. DO – Change your underwear beforehand. DON’T – Ask to see theirs. DO – Make jokes. DON’T – Use jokes including the words: Gimp, Tits, Ass, or Fart. DO…
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Two candidates for political office inadvertently scheduled simultaneous campaign rallies in the same park of a small New England town. After a lengthy round of speeches, the candidates worked their way through the crowd–shaking hands, kissing babies and beaming mightily. Suddenly, the skies opened, and it began to rain. One of the candidates fled to take shelter in a nearby restaurant, along with half a dozen regulars. The other candidate, however, continued to move through the crowd–shaking hands kissing babies,…
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Two Priests died and met at the Pearly Gates at the same time. The computer was down, so St. Peter asked them if they would hang out on earth for a week as anything they wanted. They both agreed. The first priest asked to be an eagle for a week. “So be it,” said St. Peter and off the priest went. The second priest asked to if he could be a “Stud” for a week, and St. Peter once again…
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A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, “Mom I’ve got a problem.” She says “Tell me.” He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn’t understand. She asks him what they are. He says, “Well, pussy and bitch”. She says, “Oh, that’s no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy”. He thanks her and goes to visit dad in…
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There were two guys, Bob and Joe. Now Bob and Joe LOVED hockey, and they went to hockey games every weekend. And every Saturday after the games they searched the parking lot, not remembering where they parked their car. One day Bob decided he had a brilliant idea, and he was going to surprise Joe. That morning when he went to pick up Joe for the game, he was riding on a donkey. Joe looked at him with complete amazement…
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Two blondes walk into a bar. They sit down order drinks and start chanting 180 days 180 days. A couple minutes later two more blondes walk into the bar sit down and order drinks. then they start chanting 180 days 180 days. The bartender asks whats this 180 days? One blonde says we did a puzzle and the box said 3 years and up and we did it in 180 days.
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Eight Rules to Follow when Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule…
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Two priests were done for the day and decided to head for the showers. When they got in they realized neither one had brought soap, so one of them says, “I’ll be alright to go out in the hall naked just to get some soap”, so out he goes and is on his way back with 2 bars of soap when 3 nuns come walking down the hall. The priest froze and pretended he was a statue, with the bars…
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