Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This priest is rusing around the house looking for his white collar before church. While looking in the linen cupboard he finds this shoebox, when he opens it he finds 3 eggs and $100. The next day he asks his wife what it was all about. She replies, “I didn’t want to tell you before because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” The priest starts wondering what it can possibly be that would hurt his feelings, and the wife…
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Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog. “T-Square, do your stuff.” T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. The Accountant said his…
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You know you should retire to Florida?. When your wife gives your favorite polyester leisure suit to Goodwill and a teenager shows up at your door wearing it on Halloween night. When you throw away your alarm clock and let your bladder wake you up at 7am every morning. When you mention Pearl Harbor to your Grandson and he says he heard of her didn?t she use to sing with a big band? When you realize that you have underwear…
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1. Pick up cat and cradle it in your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from under table and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw…
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A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse, with a hand-lettered “For Sale” sign out front. After briskly introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, the agent cruised from room to room, opening closets and cupboards, testing faucets and pointing out where a “new light fixture here and a little paint there” would help. Pleased with her assertiveness, the woman was hopeful that the owner would offer her the…
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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.
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Who makes more money, a prostitute or a drug dealer? A prostitute, they can clean their crack and sell it again ******************************** What do bungee jumping and a prostitute have in common? They’re both cheap, they last only a few seconds, and if the rubber band breaks, you’re dead. ******************************** How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? The joystick is wet. ******************************** What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her feet…
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LOG ON: makin’ da vood stove hotter LOG OFF: don’t add no vood MONITOR : keep a eye on da vood stove MEGAHERTZ: vhen a big log drops on your barefoot in da morning FLOPPY DISK: vhat you get from piling too much vood RAM: da hydraulic t’ing dat makes da voodsplitter vork DRIVE: gettin’ home during most of da vinter PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season ENTER: come on in WINDOWS: vhat ya shut…
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“Mary Had a Little Lamb” Mary had a little sheep, and with this sheep she went to sleep. The sheep turned out to be a ram, Mary had a little lamb. “Old Mother Hubbard” Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard To get her poor dog a bone, But when she bent over Rover took over And gave her a bone of his own.
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Dirty Limmericks 1. There once was a lad from Mass Who’s balls were made of fine brass In stormy weather they clanged together And sparks would fly out of his ass! 2. Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone. When she bent over Rover dove her and said “Hey, I got a bone of my own!’
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