Criminals Jokes

Chased by Criminals

A police officer was interviewing a young recruit. “If you’re driving at night,” the officer asked, “and you’re being chased by a gang of criminals going sixty miles an hour, what would you do?” The applicant replied, “Seventy!”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeChased by Criminals

South Korea’s Digital Woes Go Up in Smoke: A Battery Fire Sparks Cyber-Panic and a ‘Caution’ Alert

South Korea’s Digital Woes Go Up in Smoke: A Battery Fire Sparks Cyber-Panic and a ‘Caution’ Alert. Talk about adding insult to injury! ? Just when you thought your biggest problem was a massive, nationwide system outage thanks to a rather inconvenient battery fire at a government data center, South Korea’s intelligence agency has decided it’s time to worry about hackers too. Apparently, the chaos from a good old-fashioned blaze (yes, a fire, in a data center!) is just the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSouth Korea’s Digital Woes Go Up in Smoke: A Battery Fire Sparks Cyber-Panic and a ‘Caution’ Alert

COPS

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeCOPS

News Flash….

Police reports show that the first shipment of Viagra was received at a airport in Kentucky…. It was hi-jacked at a UPS terminal by a gang of thieves that wore masks. The police warn that they may be hardened criminals. Beware!

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNews Flash….

What To Do With Thanksgiving Leftovers

Part of my friend’s job as a technical writer is to help produce the company newsletter which goes to their clients. He was asked to come up with a list (ala Letterman’s Top Ten List) of funny things one can do with Thanksgiving leftovers. He applied my head-bone to the problem for an hour and we came up with this list. Seal them in concrete and call it a time capsule. Send it to the Smithsonian with instructions to open…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeWhat To Do With Thanksgiving Leftovers

Tips for Life

OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out names and addresses of people you don’t know. WHEN reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists. A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity. BUS DRIVERS: Pretend you’re an airline pilot, by…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTips for Life

Some ‘Deep’ Thoughts

* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station… * If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with “quit while you’re ahead”? * I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me. They’re cramming for their “finals”. * I thought about how mothers feed their…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeSome ‘Deep’ Thoughts

Rooney on Prisons:

Did you know that it costs forty thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty thousand bucks a piece I’ll take a few prisoners into my house. I sometimes live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on the windows. I don’t think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don’t want to run, they…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeRooney on Prisons: