Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A couple went to bed one night and the wife quickly dozed off to sleep. Her husband started rubbing her shoulder and said, “Honey, are you in the mood tonight?” She replied “I’m sorry, but I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow first thing and I want to stay fresh.” He says, “I understand.” She rolls back over and nods off to sleep again. A few minutes pass and the husband taps her on the shoulder again and wakes her. She…
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A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting. “You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear.” At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the dead man’s anus, and then licks it. He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of…
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A dwarf with a lisp goes to an agricultural show to buy a mare. He wanders around until he comes across a beautiful mare inside a small enclosure with a farmer standing at the gate. He goes up to the farmer and says, “Excthuth me, can I have a look at your horth?” “Sure”, says the farmer,”come on in.” The dwarf wanders round and round the mare and then stops, says to the farmer “Her eyeth, her eyeth, I want…
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A nationwide poetry contest was being held for college students. It was down to the two finalists: a sharp female english student at Harvard, and a redneck from Alabama State. The judges gave the finalists the same word, and they had to make an impromptu poem out of that word. The audience?s favorite poem would win the contest. The Harvard english student was picked to go first, and the word was ?Timbuktu.? So she thought for a couple minutes, got…
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A woman asks her husband if he’d like some breakfast. “Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?” she asks. He declines. “It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.” At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. “A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?” she inquires. He declines. “It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”…
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A blind man is sitting on a park bench. A rabbi walks over, sits down next to the blind man and hands him a piece of matzoh. A couple of minutes go by, and the blind man says, “Who wrote this shit?!”
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Three guys, a father, son, and grandfather go out to play a round of golf. As they are on the way out to the first tee they are joking, bullshitting, and cussing, very much the men’s day out. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says that her partner didn’t show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is a really beautiful…
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This actually IS true. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it! Only in South Carolina!! Bitter sweet revenge. It’s about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them…
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There is a parrot that swore like a sailor. He could swear for 5 minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird’s foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, “QUIT IT!” But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. The…
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A question had appeared in a students’ medical examination which read: “List four benefits of breast milk.” A student began to answer the question: 1. No need to bottle it. 2. Cats can’t steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. But the fourth point eluded him. When there were barely a couple of minutes before the exam ended, the fourth point flashed to his mind. So he completed the answer by writing: 4. Available in attractive containers.
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