Couch potato Jokes

Corporate Buzzwords for 2000

Corporate Buzzwords for 2000 Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn’t work out obsessively. Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves. Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands. Cube Farm:…

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Read JokeCorporate Buzzwords for 2000

Seminars for Males & Females

SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females) 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut 4. How to Fill an Ice Tray 5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money 6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am 7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled “Don’t Wash my Silks”) 8. Parenting: No, It Doesn’t End With Conception 9. Get a Life: Learn…

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The Bill of NO RIGHTS

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole…

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Read JokeThe Bill of NO RIGHTS

questions from the edge

If cigarettes are “coffin nails” is chewing tobacco “coffin glue”? If a “bakers dozen” is 13 is a “politicians dozen” 11? When it says “Sodium Free” is the product free of sodium or are they not charging you for the salt? What was the best thing before sliced bread? After a desert sandstorm do trucks go around and put ice on the roads? If a couch potato eats french fries is it considered cannibalism? If two lovers share the same…

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Millenium Vocabulary

The latest terms to add to your vocabulary in the Y2K office environment: * Seagull Manager – A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves. * Salmon day – The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. * Chainsaw consultant – An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands. * CLM – Career…

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Read JokeMillenium Vocabulary

The Bill of No Rights

The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County GA: We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional, and other liberal,…

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Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

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Read JokeYo mamma — THE LIST