Company doctor Jokes

Four Eyes

One summer, the company Dave worked for transferred him to another city, and Dave was told that he had to take a new physical with the company doctor. All the tests came out fine, but the doctor remarked that Dave had the smallest dick he’d ever seen. “Do you have any difficulties with its being so small?” the doc asked. “Shit, no,” Dave said. “I’ve got a wife, three kids, and a great sex life. But I do sometimes have…

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Wal-mart Dianogstic Computer

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe say’s to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money.” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a lot cheaper than a doctor.” So Joe…

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Wal-mart Dianogstic Computer

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe say’s to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money.” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a lot cheaper than a doctor.” So Joe…

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You might be a computer geek if…

You Might Be a Computer Geek If… You may have heard of Jeff Foxworthy’s humorous dialogue about rednecks, well, this is a twist on his style of humor. You might be a computer geek, by Jeff Foxqwerty. You might be a computer geek: 1 If you have 20/20 vision, and still can’t C… 2 If You buy a car and ask what version it is instead of model… 3 If the biggest purchase of your life happens at least once…

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Weight-loss Program

A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. “Guaranteed like heck,” he thinks to himself, “But let’s see what they think they can do.” He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he…

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You Don’t Want to Know

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer’ll tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a hellofalot cheaper than a doctor.”…

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Wal-mart Dianogstic Computer

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe say’s to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money.” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a lot cheaper than a doctor.” So Joe…

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New and Improved Policies

Memo To: All Employees Subject: New Policies Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Surgery: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse…

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Whole Lotta Yo Mama

SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…

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20 MORE signs of a Cheap HMO

1. Pedal-powered dialysis machines. 2. Use of antibiotics deemed an “unauthorized experimental procedure,” 3. Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on the last chapter of “War and Peace,” 4. Exam room has a tip jar. 5. You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in. 6. “Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?” 7. Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers. 8. “Take two leeches and…

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Read Joke20 MORE signs of a Cheap HMO