Coke bottle Jokes

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King Of Beers’, a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one. The guy…

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1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING. 2. Pronounce all one syllable words with two. 3. When giving directions, finish with “it’s right down yonder on the left.” 4. Talk REALLY slowly, and ask them to speak slower so you can understand what they’re saying. 5. When they talk about how great it is up north, tell them “Delta’s ready when you are.” 6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball. 7. Refer to every…

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Five vagrants were picked up and were standing before the judge. They insisted they were not vagrants, but were merely unemployed at the moment. The judge, obviously disbelieving, said to the first alleged vagrant, “What do you do when you’re working?’ Said the first vagrant, “I’m a cork soaker, Your Honor.” “A what?” said the judge, a little scandalized. “I work for a bottling concern and I’m in charge of seeing that the corks are properly soaked so they will…

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Parents are embarrassing, Take my dad. Every time a friend comes to stay the night, he does something that makes my face go red. Now don’t get me wrong. He is a terrific dad. I love him but sometimes I think he will never grow up. He loves playing practical jokes. This behavior first started one night when Anna came to sleep over. Unknown to me, dad sneaks into my room and puts Doona, our cat, on the spare bed.…

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