Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way. None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut…
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A grandmother was surprised by her seven-year-old helper early one morning. He had made her coffee! She drank what was probably the worst cup of coffee in her entire life. And when she got to the bottom, to her utter amazement, there were three little green, army men in her cup. Puzzled, she asked, “Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?” Her grandson answered, “Grandma, you know how it says on TV, ‘The best part of waking…
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How many hours does it take one man to get a cup of coffee? Three! One to fill the coffee cup, one to bullshit with the other guys and one to check out all the cute babes that walk through the door.
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There was this guy sitting on a plane waiting for take-off. The pilot comes over the loud-speaker and announces their destination and the altitude at which they will be flying. Not realizing that he has left the loud-speaker on, the pilot leans over and says to the co-pilot: “I could really use a cup of coffee and a blo-job”. Almost instantly, a stewardess runs to the front of the plane to inform the pilot his mike was on. Upon seeing…
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I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink the cooled coffee quickly. At the window, there was a delay. Finally, a teenage girl came to the window looking frustrated. “I’m having a problem,” she announced. “The ice keeps melting.”
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Listed below are overwhelming reasons that coffee is better than a woman: 1. A cup of coffee looks good in the morning. 2. You won’t get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM. 3. You won’t fall asleep after a cup of coffee. 4. You can always warm coffee up. 5. You can take black coffee home to your parents. 6. You can make coffee as sweet as you want. 7. You can smoke while drinking coffee. 8. Coffee smells…
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EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATION Employee Name _______________ Date of Review __________________ KNOWLEDGE: 1.____ The son-of-a-bitch really knows his shit 2.____ Knows only enough to be dangerous 3.____ Only has half a brain and is dangerous 4.____ Fucking brain damaged. His coffee cup has a higher I.Q. ACCURACY: 1.____ Does excellent work; is not preoccupied with pussy 2.____ Pretty good; only occasionally blows it out his ass 3.____ Has to take his shoes off to count higher than ten 4.____ Couldn’t count…
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Mailman John walks down the street. It is is last day on the job. The first door he comes to, the people hand him fruit and flowers and said that they appreciated his work. The next door he comes to the people give him home-baked chocolate chip cookies and said the same thing. Then the next door he comes to, a beautiful blonde answers the door and says “come in”. He comes in and they do it, and they come…
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An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain) An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today. A statistician is someone who is…
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Memo To: All Employees Subject: New Policies Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Surgery: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse…
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