Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This guy is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she…
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A man is in a grocery store, just strolling around. And after a few minutes a clerk sees him and goes to ask if he can give him any assistance. The man replies, “No thanks, I’m just here to buy some tampons for my wife…” So the clerk leaves him alone and returns to his till. A while later the same man walks up to the till carrying a big bag of cotton, and some string. So the clerk asks,…
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1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it’s cute. 3. Stop fingering me. 4. I’m sorry. 5. Who circumcised you? 6. Why don’t we just cuddle? 7. You know they have surgery to fix that. 8. It’s more fun to look at. 9. Make it dance. 10. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that. 11. Can I paint a smiley face on that? 12. It looks like a nightcrawler. 13. Wow, and your feet are so…
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1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it’s cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don’t we just cuddle? 5. You know they have surgery to fix that. 6. It’s more fun to look at. 7. Make it dance. 8. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that. 9. Can I paint a smiley face on that? 10. It looks like a nightcrawler. 11. Wow, and your feet are so big. 12. My last boyfriend was 4″…
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A spiritualist who’d recently been widowed met a colleague and reported excitedly that she’d just received a message from her dead husband – asking her to send him a pack of cigarettes. “The only thing is,” she mused, “that I don’t know where to send them.” “Why not?” asked her friend. “Well, he didn’t actually say that he was in Heaven – but I can’t imagine he’d be in Hell.” “Hmmm,” responded the friend. “Well, maybe I shouldn’t bring this…
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Why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive? Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How does the…
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A man was on an airplane, watching the movie, and hated it. So he walked out on it. After plunging to the sea, he swam to a deserted island. He lived there for 10 years, with no human contact, no companionship. One day, he was looking out at the lagoon, and saw someone in SCUBA gear swim out of it. The man could see is was a strikingly beautiful woman. She looked at him, licked her pouty lips, and asked,…
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A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long, happy life?” “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.” “That’s amazing!” the woman said. “How OLD ARE you?” “Twenty-six,” he said.
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A carpet layer has just finished installing carpet for a customer. He steps out for a smoke, only to realize that he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, is a lump. “No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he says to himself. He proceeds to get out his hammer and flattens the hump. As he was cleaning up, the homeowner comes in. “Here,” she said, handing him his pack…
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1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahhhh, it’s cute. 3. Why don’t we just cuddle? 4. You know they have surgery to fix that. 5. Make it dance. 6. Can I paint a smiley face on it? 7. Wow, and your feet are so big. 8. It’s OK, we’ll work around it. 9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it? 10. Oh no…. a flash headache. 11. (giggle and point) 12. Can I be honest with you? 13.…
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