Cheese sandwich Jokes

Cheese Sandwich

A guy walks into a bar and notices a sign hanging over the mirror. The sign reads: Bottle of Beer $ 2.00 Cheese Sandwich $ 3.00 Hand Job $10.00 He looks around and notices a beautiful blonde behind the counter and he calls her over. “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” She lowers her eyelids and purrs a response, “Why, yes sir, I am.” “Well then wash your damn hands, I want a cheese sandwich!”

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Ham & cheese again!

There was a black man, white man, and a dumb man at work. Then it was time for lunch. The 3 men sat down to begin their lunch. The black man opened his lunch to see a tuna fish sandwhich. He said, “If I get another sandwich with tuna fish in it, I am going to kill myself!” Then the white man opened his lunch to see a peanut butter sandwich. He said, “If I get another peanut butter sandwich,…

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Mick Herron, Authorial Grim Reaper, Confirms He Knows Exactly How to Off Gary Oldman’s Jackson Lamb

Slow Horses author Mick Herron says he knows how Jackson Lamb dies! ????? The man behind the beloved (and notoriously cantankerous) intelligence officer, famously portrayed by Gary Oldman, has revealed he holds the ultimate fate of his creation in his hands. Herron apparently knows ‘how, why, when, and where’ Lamb will kick the bucket – a revelation he’s only just cooked up! Fans are now left to ponder if it’ll be a dramatic explosion, a quiet retirement, or perhaps just…

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Read JokeMick Herron, Authorial Grim Reaper, Confirms He Knows Exactly How to Off Gary Oldman’s Jackson Lamb

Make That To Go!

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads : Cheese sandwich $1.50 Chicken sandwich $2.50 Hand Job $10.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. “Yes?” she inquires with a knowing smile. “Can I help you?” “I was wondering,” whispers the man. “Are you the one who gives the…

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A Diet Pill, Too?

A woman asks her husband if he’d like some breakfast. “Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?” she asks. He declines. “It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.” At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. “A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?” she inquires. He declines. “It’s this Viagra,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”…

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college life

Signs you’re in college: -You rarely have $5 in your pocket. -A grilled cheese sandwich is a major food group to you. -You have little or no idea what you want to do with your life. -There is drool damage in two or more of your textbooks. -Your body starts going through withdrawal, when you go more than two days w/o pizza. -Your computer costs more and runs better than your car. -Your history prof asks “Who was General Lee?”…

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Elvis Returns

Father O’Malley has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married, and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So he decides to go to the United States before he is too old to enjoy it. He hops on a plane bound for Nevada. As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims, “ELVIS!…

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Read JokeElvis Returns