Cereal port Jokes

Compu-speak

hAS aNYONE sEEN mY cAPSLOCK kEY?? Hey,what does this RESET butto $ not found:(A)bort (R)efinance (D)eclare bankrupcy *system error, strike any user to continue.* (A)bort (R)etry (T)urn off come to bed! (A)bort (R)etry (S)ue. BREAKFAST.COM Halted… cereal port not responding. ERROR: D3F2: Replace user and press any key to continue. Error…error…error…error…err C:\>_ C:\CLINTON\TRUTH.COM not found: (A)bort (R)etry (I)mpeach?

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For cat owners

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary DAY 752 – My captors continue to torment me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some piece of their furniture. I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another. DAY 761…

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Whole Lotta Yo Mama

SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…

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It’s A Bad Day When…

You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…

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