Cars Jokes

If AOL Made Cars…

1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer. 2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player. 3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later. 4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars. 5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeIf AOL Made Cars…

Elon Musk, World’s Richest Man, Declares War on Netflix Over Kids’ Cartoon Character

Elon Musk, the entrepreneurial titan usually found launching rockets or revolutionizing electric cars, has apparently found his latest nemesis: a cartoon character in a children’s show. A recently resurfaced clip from Dead End: Paranormal Park led the billionaire to rally his loyal followers, encouraging them to cancel their Netflix subscriptions. ? It seems even space-faring moguls aren’t immune to the dramatic pitfalls of animated storylines! ? Who knew a kids’ show character could spark such an epic, subscription-halting battle? Leer…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeElon Musk, World’s Richest Man, Declares War on Netflix Over Kids’ Cartoon Character

Guano-Gate: Rome Woman Banned as Neighbors Drown in ‘Hitchcockian Pigeon Hell’

? Breaking News from the Eternal City! A Rome woman has been officially banned from feeding her feathered friends after neighbours declared their apartment block a literal ‘Hitchcockian pigeon hell.’ Talk about taking ‘going to the birds’ a bit too far! ? Rome’s mayor, no doubt accustomed to dealing with ancient ruins and traffic, has now had to step in to stop the avian apocalypse. Furious residents claimed they were quite literally drowning in feathers and guano (that’s fancy bird…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeGuano-Gate: Rome Woman Banned as Neighbors Drown in ‘Hitchcockian Pigeon Hell’

More of ‘You might be a redneck’

You might be a Redneck if you think the Nutcracker is something you do off the highdive. You might be a Redneck if someone hollers “Hoedown” and your girlfriend falls to the floor. You might be a Redneck if you own a home that is mobile and 14 cars that aren’t. If you have been married 3 times and you still have the same in-laws, you might be a Redneck. If your grandma can properly execute the Sleeper hold. You…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeMore of ‘You might be a redneck’

The blonde girlfriend

One day a blonde was scratching her boyfriend’s car with a ruler. He came out and told her that rulers are used for measuring how long things are. Not for scratching cars. In the morning he went to wake her for breakfast and had noticed that the ruler was under the bed. He said to her, ” I thought I told you your’re suppose to use a ruler for measuring how long things are.” She replied, ” I know, I…

(3)Loading...

Read JokeThe blonde girlfriend

A Sign From Above

A woman and a man get into a car accident, and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man,that’s interesting. I’m a woman… Wow! Just look at our cars. There’s nothing left,but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeA Sign From Above

Little Johnny’s Science Lesson

In school one day the teacher decided she would teach about materials in science class. So she stood in the front of the class and said, “Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?” Little Richie raised his hand and said, “I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche.” The teacher nodded and called on little Susie Marie. Little Susie said, “I would…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeLittle Johnny’s Science Lesson

Come join the party Father Celestain

(this joke is written and told by a true COON-ASS so if you can spoke like a true CAJUN you guna like dis one real good. (DONT WORRY ABOUT THE SPELLING!!!) ONE TIME, FATHER THIBODEAUX WAS JUST ABOUT TO GIVE HIS TALK AT HIS CHURCH. HIS CHURCH IS USUALLY FULL, HOWEVER, DIS TIME, THERE WAS ONLY TWO OLD WOMEN IN THE PEWS. FATHER THIBODEAUX TOLD THE TWO OLD LADIES TO HOLD ON, HE WAS COMING RIGHT BACK. FATHER THIBODEAUX WENT…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCome join the party Father Celestain

Bingo!

There is this young attractive married woman who wants expensive jewelry, designer clothes and fast cars but her husband is not so well off. One day, she comes home late wearing a gold necklace. Her husband, who has been waiting for her, asks, “Where did you get that necklace.” The woman says, “I won it at the bingo.” Three days later, the woman again comes home late wearing a mink coat. Her husband asks, “Where did you get that mink…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBingo!