Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A lovely young Jewish girl was employed by a clothing firm in New York. She and her widowed mother shared the same ambition: marriage to a wealthy man. One day she returned from work, eyes red from crying. As soon as she entered the apartment she called, “MAMA, I’m pregnant! Don’t get excited. The father is my boss.” She began to sob uncontrollably while her mother tried to console her. The next morning, the mother charged into the office of…
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Sign on the wall of the local brothel: “It’s a business doing pleasure with you.”
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TODAY’S BUSINESS WRITING TIP: In writing proposals to prospective clients, be sure to clearly state the benefits they will receive: WRONG: “I sincerely believe that it is to your advantage to accept this proposal.” RIGHT: “I have photographs of you naked with a squirrel.”
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Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following: 1. Buying a stronger whip. 2. Changing riders. 3. Say things like, “This is the way we have always ridden this horse.” 4. Appointing a committee to study the horse. 5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. 6. Increasing the…
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We know about ambulance-chasing lawyers, but there’s also big money in splitsville. There was shifty-eyed guy at the post office methodically licking “Love” stamps and placing them on a pile of bright pink envelopes with hearts all over. After all were stamped, the man took out a perfume bottle and sprayed each envelope. A curious bystander asked: “What are you doing?” “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’” said the fellow at the counter. “But why?” “I’m a…
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Lesson Number One: A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit noticed the crow, and asked, “Can I sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered, “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral Of The Story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very,…
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One day at kindergarten, the teacher says to the class of five-year-olds, “I’ll give $2 to the child who can tell me who the most famous man who ever lived was.” An Irish boy raised his hand and said, “Please, Miss, it was St. Patrick.” The teacher said, “Sorry, Sean, that’s not correct.” Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, “Please, Miss, it was St. Andrew.” The teacher replied, “I’m sorry, Hamish, that’s not right either.” Finally,…
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After many years, a young Talmud student who had left the old country for America, returns to visit his family. “But, where is your beard?” asks his mother upon seeing him. “Mama,” he replies, “in American, nobody wears a beard.” “But at least you keep the Sabbath?” Mama asks. “Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath.” “But kosher food, you still eat?” asks Mama. “Mama, in American, it is very difficult to keep kosher.” The old…
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Sum Yung Guy Mable None Of Your Business Windshield Wipers Sharon Peters Wvu Football Lopsided Breasts Marzipan Knights Of Columbus Pussy Willow Green Hair Overbite Erie Canal Liberace Thora Hird Broad Shoulders Feather Boa Heavy Breathing Italian Accent Pinochle Army Corps Of Engineers Little Red Wagon Buzzard Milk Of Magnesia Snow Shoes Green With Envy Anticipation Buttermilk Freddy Holiness Penis Envy Betsy Ross Quiff Pool Boy Gratitude Search And Rescue Valley Forge Fire Sprinkler System Senorita Keith Sweat Gold Teeth…
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This soldier had been stationed overseas and was fooling around on his wife. She was back home in the states. She found out about it through some anonymous letters. The soldier gets a package from his wife. He finds inside a batch of homemade cookies and a video tape of his favorite stateside TV shows. He invites a couple of buddies over to watch the tape. They’re all having a great time eating the cookies and watching episodes of “South…
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