Blue dress Jokes

The Root

Q: Who is 100% responsible for the all these hassles- Bill, Monica, Starr, Cigar, Blue dress, Paula, impeachment etc… A: Hillary. She knows what is Blow and what is Job, but does not know what is a Blow-Job. (Sorry Bill, better luck next time).

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Root

Costume

The new Halloween costume is Monica Lewinsky. It comes with a blue dress, mayonnaise, a cigar, a beret, and the official White House kneepads.

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCostume

Hail to the Chief

It’s a shame that Bill has caused so many changes in the White House. The latest being that “Hail to the Chief” won’t be played anymore to honor him as President. Seems Bill prefers “Devil with a Blue Dress on.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHail to the Chief

Look at Her!

A man sitting at the window one evening casually calls to his wife, “There’s that woman that our next door neighbor is fooling around with!” His wife dropped the plate she was drying, ran into the living room, knocked over a vase and broke it on her way to the window. “WHERE? WHERE? she demanded. “Right over there on the corner. The lady in the blue dress.” “YOU IDIOT! THAT’S HIS WIFE!!!” “Yes, I know,” the husband said, with a…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLook at Her!

ya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…

(7)Loading...

Read Jokeya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good advice for those that are married/engaged/whipped…

*************************************** IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp Winter’s afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the sofa in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your wife enters the room and says, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Is this a trick question? Yes, it is. The…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeGood advice for those that are married/engaged/whipped…

Courtroom quotes :)

Unbelievable, but these are from a book called “Disorder in the Court.” These are things people actually said in court, word for word: Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. ————————————————— Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ————————————————— Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeCourtroom quotes :)

Over 50 Ways to get rid of Blind Dates

1.At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2.Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table. 3.Wipe your nose on your date’s sleeve. Twice. 4.Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. 5.Repeat every third third word you say say. 6.Give your claim to fame…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeOver 50 Ways to get rid of Blind Dates

Actual quotes from the witness stand:

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. Q: How old is your son-the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeActual quotes from the witness stand:

The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas

The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las’ night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma. Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille an made some gumbo out of dem. Day 3:…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeThe 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas