Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
10. Why it’s good to have five pairs of black shoes. 9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white. 8. Crying can be fun. 7. FAT CLOTHES. 6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch. 5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a “peak life experience”. 4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. 3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is…
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Three men are on an airplane, flying over the ocean. The aircraft is in trouble, and the captain soon comes on over the intercom and says, “Folks, we’re having some serious problems here. I want everyone to assume crash position.” The first guy, after hearing this, he stands up and starts taking off all his clothes. His two friends see this, and say, “Hey! What are you doing that for?” and the man replies, “I’m not a very good swimmer,…
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Julius and Irving, two very religious Jewish men, visited Marcus Pinkus the tailor to have new black suits made. When they went to pick up the suits, Julius looked at his suit very carefully; held it up to the light, walked over to the window and examined it more carefully and then proclaimed, “Marcus, this suit is navy blue. It’s not black!” “Trust me,” said Marcus, “it’s black!” “Irving, what do you think? Blue, or black?” asked Julius. “To tell…
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ONE- We want you to understand that we don’t give a shit about clothes, all right? Yours OR ours. All we need is one pair of tennies and one pair of church shoes. That’s it. TWO- Don’t talk to us while the television is on, all right? Very simple: Television is off, we talk. Television is on, we don’t talk. THREE- When you’re behind the wheel of a car, if you want to get aggressive, that’s fine, but don’t give…
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A man came home from work sporting two black eyes. “What happened to you?” asked his wife. “I’ll never understand women,” he replied. “I was riding up on an escalator behind this pretty young girl, and I noticed that her skirt was stuck in the crack of her butt. So I pulled it out, and she turned around and punched me in the eye!” “I can certainly appreciate that,” said the wife, “but how did you get the second black…
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Boss, to four of his employees: “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.” Black Employee: “I’m a protected minority.” Female Employee: “And I’m a woman.” Oldest Employee: “Fire me, buster, and I’ll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it’ll make your head spin.” …To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: “I think I might be gay…”
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One day Jon came home from bible school. And his father took one look at him and saw he had a black eye! “Jon, what on earth happened?” his father said. “Well Dad,” Jon started, “we were all in the sanctuary saying our prayers. Then we all stood up to sing, and Mrs. Johnson was in the pew in front of me, and I saw that her dress was caught in the crack of he butt! So, I thought I…
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They’re supportive. They’re uplifting. They help you to achieve new heights. You expect to find them in your underwear drawer. If they’re too uptight, it’s easy to loosen them up. You can let them under your shirt on a first date. It’s legal to lock them in the dryer. They coordinate with your underwear (not to be confused with men, who are coordinated once in your underwear). If you outgrow them, it’s easy to throw them away and get a…
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“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…
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A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and reltate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they’d found, the first little boy called upon walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was. “It’s a period”, said the little boy. “Well,…
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