Black eyes Jokes

Two Black Eyes

A man came home from work sporting two black eyes. “What happened to you?” asked his wife. “I’ll never understand women,” he replied. “I was riding up on an escalator behind this pretty young girl, and I noticed that her skirt was stuck in the crack of her butt. So I pulled it out, and she turned around and punched me in the eye!” “I can certainly appreciate that,” said the wife, “but how did you get the second black…

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The Black Eye

A guy boards his plane for Pittsburg and sits down in his seat. He immediately notices that the guy next to him has a black eye. He says to him, “Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes. Do you mind if I ask you how you got yours?” The other guy replies, “Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the hugest breasts…

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A Bad Golf Day

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. “Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.” “We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear…

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tongue twister

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, “Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?” The other guy says, “Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with…

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Feeling Like a Woman

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die!” she wails. Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I’ve had plenty of relationships in my life, but…

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Slip of the Tongue

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, “Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?” The other guy says, “Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with…

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‘Twas the Night Before Christmas in Brooklyn

‘Twas the night before Christmas, Da whole house was mella, Not a creature was stirrin’, Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla. When up on da roof I heard somethin’ pound, I sprung to da window, To scream, “YO! Keep it down!” When what to my Wanderin’ eyes should appear, But da Don of all elfs, And eight friggin’ reindeer! Wit’ slicked back black hair, And a silk red suit, don Christopher wuz here, And he brought da loot!…

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Read Joke‘Twas the Night Before Christmas in Brooklyn