Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: “This is an amazing octopus. I’ll bet anyone in this bar that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it.” Now none of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started wailing way, better than Jimi Hendrix. The man took…
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Q: How many tuba players does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to drink ’till the room spins. Q: How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None they can’t get that high. Q: How many sopranos does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One to hold the bulb while the world revolves around her. A: Four. One to screw…
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ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the “new, improved” method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ARCHAEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest – penalty for…
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Last time the circus came to town, only two applicants answered an ad in the local paper for an animal trainer. The owner decided to audition the male and female applicants. At first glance, it appeared that the female was much better prepared, since she was wearing a very long, flowing cape, with a whip and chair. She looked more like a model than a trainer. The man’s only distinguishing feature was a soggy cigar stuffed between his cracked and…
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After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided to conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills (or lack thereof), he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer’s job. The bishop was incredulous. “You have no arms!” “No matter,”…
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