Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again. 8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. 7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy. 6. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last nine months. 4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky. 3. It doesn’t matter if kids hear…
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The strong, egotistical, young man at the construction site was always bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He seemed to take special delight in making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said. “I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in this wheelbarrow over to that building that you won’t…
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10. If the date goes bad, changing your Screen Name is easier than changing your real name. 9. Bathing, dressing, supplying atmosphere is optional. 8. If you get drunk and blackout, you only wake up next to a keyboard. 7. You can exercise your offensive habits without embarrassing yourself. 6. Viagra! Who needs Viagra? 5. Your partner could have more of a personality than your inflatable friends. 4. Three words: No shotgun weddings. 3. All guys look like George Clooney…
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They’re supportive. They’re uplifting. They help you to achieve new heights. You expect to find them in your underwear drawer. If they’re too uptight, it’s easy to loosen them up. You can let them under your shirt on a first date. It’s legal to lock them in the dryer. They coordinate with your underwear (not to be confused with men, who are coordinated once in your underwear). If you outgrow them, it’s easy to throw them away and get a…
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British playwright William Douglas Homes and his wife, Rachel, were invited to dinner by friends. Since he had to attend a matinee in Oxford, he and is wife arrived for dinner separately. The group dined, chatted, and then the Homes’ rose to leave around eleven. “Thank you, Rachel, for a lovely dinner,” said the host. “What do you mean?” Homes inquired. “I brought dinner over from home,” his wife explained, “as their cook was off.” “In that case,” said Homes,…
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Last week my son came up to me and asked me the difference between potential and reality. I told him to go to his mum and ask if she’d sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars, and then to go to his sister, and ask if she’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. He did just that. He went up to my wife and said, “Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million?” to which she…
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Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, “Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job.” So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports.…
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God: And remember Moshe, in the laws of keeping Kosher, never cook a calf in its mother’s milk. It is cruel, Moshe (Moses): Ohhhhhh! So you are saying we should never eat milk and meat together. G: No, what I’m saying is, never cook a calf in its mother’s milk. M: Oh, Lord forgive my ignorance! What you are really saying is we should wait six hours after eating meat to eat milk so the two are not in our…
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For years and years they told me, “Be careful of your breasts. Don’t ever squeeze or bruise them And give them monthly tests.” So I heeded all their warnings And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully And always wore a bra. After 40 years of careful care, The doctor found a lump. He ordered up a mammogram To look inside that clump. “Stand up very close,” she said, As she got my breast in line. “And tell me…
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Listed below are overwhelming reasons that coffee is better than a woman: 1. A cup of coffee looks good in the morning. 2. You won’t get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM. 3. You won’t fall asleep after a cup of coffee. 4. You can always warm coffee up. 5. You can take black coffee home to your parents. 6. You can make coffee as sweet as you want. 7. You can smoke while drinking coffee. 8. Coffee smells…
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