Best man Jokes - page 3

If Men Were In Charge Of Weddings…..

There would be a “Rehearsal Dinner Kegger” until the cops showed up. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs. Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that “forsaking all others” part. The couple would leave the ceremony in…

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Read JokeIf Men Were In Charge Of Weddings…..

Honeymoon Troubles

A couple return from their honeymoon, and it’s obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom’s best man takes him aside and asks what is wrong. “Well,” replied the man, “when we had finished making love on the first night, I got up to go to the bathroom, and I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking.” “Oh, I shouldn’t worry about that too much,” said his friend. I’m sure your wife will…

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Read JokeHoneymoon Troubles

Cold Feet

Jeff had been my best friend since kindergarten, so it was no surprise to me when he asked me to be the best man at his wedding. On the appointed day, as we were getting dressed for the ceremony, Jeff got a rather severe case of “cold feet.” “I can’t go through with it,” he said. “I’m nauseous, my stomach is cramping, and my knees are like spaghetti.” I said, “It’s just PMS.” “PMS?” he asked. “Yeah,” I quipped, “Pre-Marital…

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Read JokeCold Feet

If MEN planned weddings

There would be a “Rehearsal Dinner Kegger” until the cops showed up. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cutoffs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs. Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that “forsaking all others” part. The couple would leave the ceremony in…

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Read JokeIf MEN planned weddings

Tony Harrison’s ‘Once Controversial’ Poem Gets Ultimate Graveyard Gig, Author Attends (Spiritually, Anyway)

Tony Harrison’s ‘Once Controversial’ Poem Gets Ultimate Graveyard Gig, Author Attends (Spiritually, Anyway). What better way to honor a poet than to perform his most famous (and famously scandalous) work right where it all began? ? This performance of the ‘once controversial’ poem V, originally planned for its 40th anniversary in the very Leeds cemetery that inspired it, has now taken on a whole new layer of dramatic irony. The timing couldn’t be more… poetic, as it will now also…

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Read JokeTony Harrison’s ‘Once Controversial’ Poem Gets Ultimate Graveyard Gig, Author Attends (Spiritually, Anyway)

A Very Brave Soldier, Indeed

A Navy Admiral, a Marine General and an Army General were having some drinks at the officer’s club in a major military base. After a few rounds of iced tea, the Navy Admiral boasted, “You know, the Navy has the bravest fighting men ever to serve in the Armed Forces. I can prove it to you all.” Before the others could protest, the Admiral proceeded to phone his headquarter and asked for the best Navy Seal in his command to…

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Read JokeA Very Brave Soldier, Indeed

50th Wedding Anniversary

A couple goes back to their original honeymoon hotel for a celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary. After all the family festivities they retire to the original room they stayed in on their honeymoon night 50 years prior. The woman is done with her bathroom antics and her husband takes her place for his turn to get ready. The elderly man takes quite awhile in the bathroom, as is his norm, and his wife spends the time figuring out the…

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Read Joke50th Wedding Anniversary

Moving Pains

So this man was helping his best friend move to a new house. He groaned as he helped a large couch. “Look,” his friend said helpfully, “at least you are developing your muscles.” “Yeah,” replied the friend, wryly, “either that or a hernia.”

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Thoughts from within my brain…

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station… What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men? Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP? If Stop & Shop and the A&P were to merge would it be called Stop & P? I believe five out of…

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Read JokeThoughts from within my brain…

more bumper stickers…

a.. Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS? b.. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! c.. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole d.. 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest? e.. Your gene pool needs a little chlorine. f.. You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! g.. DON’T PISS ME OFF!!!!!! I’m running out of…

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Read Jokemore bumper stickers…