Beautiful son Jokes - page 3

Car name acronyms

ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile AMC -All Makes Combined AMC -A Major Cost AMC -A Mutated Car AMC -A Moron’s Car AMC -Another Major Catastrophe AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence AUDI -All Unsafe Designs Implemented AUDI -Another Ugly Duetsche Invention AUDI -Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence AUDI -Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc. BMW -Babbling Mechanical Wench BMW -Beastly Monsterous Wonder BMW -Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels BMW -Beautiful Mechanical Wonder BMW -Barely Moving Wreck BMW -Big Money Waste BMW -Big Money. Why?…

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28 things guys wish girls knew

28 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew 1.. We’re not as big of perverts as you think we all are. 2.. No matter what you say, your ex-boyfriend is an asshole 3.. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too. 4.. Don’t argue with us when we call you beautiful. 5.. Don’t treat us like crap, what goes around comes around. 6.. We know you’re pretty, that’s one of the reason’s we’re going out with you. 7.. Don’t…

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Janet Reno

Word started getting out about Snow White’s mirror and people really started getting the idea of wanting to inquire of the mirror themselves. Sleeping Beauty wanted to know if she really was the most beautiful of all. Tom Thumb wanted to make sure he really was the smallest person. And, Quasimodo wanted to know that he was the ugliest. So they each went before the mirror. As Sleeping Beauty was leaving she said, “Oh, I really *am* the most beautiful…

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King Arthur & the Old Witch

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur?s youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the…

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If It Weren’t For The Movies

Things You’d Never Know If It Weren’t For The Movies: Large, loft apartments in New York City are plentiful and affordable, even if the tenants are unemployed. One of a pair of identical twins is evil. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. It doesn’t matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one…

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Things girls think guys should know

1. Don’t ever lie to us, we always find out. 2. We don’t enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening. 3. Don’t say you understand when you don’t. 4. Girls are petty, get over it. 5. You don’t have PMS; don’t act like you know what it’s like. 6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook. 7. If you talk about having a big…

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Spare Keys

One day a husband was chiding his beautiful blonde wife about leaving her keys in the ignition of her car. “If I take them out of the car I lose them,” she reasoned. “Yes dear, but what if someone steals your car?” the husband countered. “Oh that’s okay,” the wife chirped happily, “I keep a spare key in the glove box!”

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The 3 Wishes

One day, a man was walking down the street when he saw a genie lamp in a nearby alley. Excitedly, he picked it up and rubbed it. A genie came out and said, “I will grant you three wishes, Master!” The man was so happy, his first wish was, “I want 100 billion dollars!!!!!!” “Your wish has been granted, $100 billion is now in your bank account.” The man was even happier. “I want beautiful women!” “Your wish has been…

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THE ORTHODOX RABBI

Debra, a beautiful Jewish girl was raised in a Strictly Orthodox home. She became engaged to Richard, a Gentile boy who agreed to convert to Judaism and to be married in the temple of Debbie’s parents. Richard had so many questions about the forthcoming ceremony that Debbie arranged for him to meet Rabbi Schiller who would be performing the marriage. “I’d like Mom and Dad to be seated right down front with all my sisters,” said Richard. “Oh no”, said…

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Psychic Hotline for Frogs

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline, and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: “You are going to meet a beautiful, young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?” “No,” says his Advisor, “in her biology class.”

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