Bats Jokes

Computer Geek Poetry

The following is submitted, exactly as authored, but a “translation” follows: >>!*”# ^’`$$- !*=@$_ %*>>~#4 &[]../ |{,,SYSTEM HALTED The symbols above are called “DINGBATS”. Each Dingbat has a NAME. When you speak the name of the symbols, the following “poem” results: Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash, Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash, Bang splat equal at dollar under-score, Percent splat waka waka tilde number four, Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash, Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH!

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Read JokeComputer Geek Poetry

Reasons To Love Men

Reasons to Love Men 1. They’ve got that comfortable place on their shoulder that’s perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep. 2. They’re at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness. 3. They’re enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we’re not. 4. They’re beyond enthusiastic about sex. 5. They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall. 6. Chest hair, forearm hair and the feel of a newly shaved cheek.…

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The Lord & Noah

The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “I’m very angry with the way things are going on earth — this is not what I had in mind! I have accordingly decided to destroy it and start over! In 6 months I’m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water just like before, and all the evil is destroyed; if not, I will wring it out like an old sponge. But rather than start from scratch,…

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Just Too Cruel

Paul and a bunch of other kids ran up to Mrs. Robinson’s house carrying caps, baseball gloves, and bats. Paul shouted up to the window, “Mrs. Robinson! Can Johnny come out to play baseball?” Mrs. Robinson replied, “Paul, you know that Johnny doesn’t have any arms or legs.” Paul shouted back, “We know that. We just want to use him as first base!”

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Batty

Two vampire bats are hanging upside down in a cave. One bat feels rather hungry. “Let’s go and find some blood,” he suggests. “I don’t think you can get any blood at this time of day,” says the other bat. “Well, I want blood and I want it now!” he says and prepares to take off. “Are you coming with me or not?” “Don’t be stupid, you’ll just waste your time”, says the second bat. The first bat flies away.…

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The bat

This one bat returned from a long hard day’s work of collecting blood. Upon his return to the bat cave, he proceeded to hang from his perch whereupon a group of his friends noticed the blood from around his mouth. They approached him and continually badgered him to tell the others where he got that blood. Although he was exhausted, he finally agreed to show the other bats where he got the blood under the condition that the other bats…

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Read JokeThe bat