Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
These are 10 different ways of knowing that your kid is too old for breast freeding. 10. He can open the blouse himself. 9. While sucking one breast he caresses the other one. 8. He has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue. 7. He keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt. 6. He uses the milk as a creamer for his coffee. 5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine. 4. After each feeding he has…
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than ten years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. “How old are you?” “I’m four and a half.” You’re never 36 and a half . . . You’re four and a half going on 5. You get into your teens; now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number.…
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than ten years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. “How old are you?” “I’m four and a half.” You’re never 36 and a half….you’re four and a half going on 5. You get into your teens; now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number. “How old are you?”…
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1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. – Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. – Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. – Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. – Randy, 9 5. Never pee on an electric fence. – Robert, 13 6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. – Noronha, 13 7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells…
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Miss Agnes McHolstein 69 Cash Ave. Beaver Valley, CO Dec. 14, 1986 My Darling, I went to the door today and the postman delivered a “partridge in a pear tree”. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. You’re an angel. With all my love and devotion, Agnes Miss Agnes McHolstein Dec. 15, 1986 Darling, Today, the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine “Two turtle doves”. I’m delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are…
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A farmer is sitting in a bar getting drunk. The bartender walks up to him and says, “You know, I’ve seen some pretty sad faces in my time but yours takes the cake.” “Some things you just can?t explain.” replied the farmer. “Tell me about it.” said the bartender. “Well,” the farmer began, “this morning I was out milking the cow. Just as the bucket was getting full, the cow knocked it over with her right leg.” “Knocked the bucket…
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George was sitting at his desk and stressing over the upcoming deadlines when his boss came up to him. Their conversation went as follows: Boss: “George, when is the last time you took a vacation?” George: “Sir, I don’t have time for a vacation. There is way too much work to be done.” Boss: “George, I believe you would be more productive if you took some time to get away from your work and relax for a little bit.” George:…
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your mama so old, she blows powdered milk out her titties. your mama breath so bad, every time she breathes her teeth duck. your mama so funky she had to cut the strings off her tampons to keep the crabs from bungee-jumping.
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1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’ trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of debris at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. 3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of…
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1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…
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