Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. “How are you, darling?” it said. “What kind of a day are you having?” “Oh, Mother,” said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, “I’ve had such a bad day. The baby won’t eat, and the washing machine broke down. I haven’t had a chance to go shopping; and, besides, I’ve just sprained my ankle, and I have to hobble…
(1)
Loading...
Part of my friend’s job as a technical writer is to help produce the company newsletter which goes to their clients. He was asked to come up with a list (ala Letterman’s Top Ten List) of funny things one can do with Thanksgiving leftovers. He applied my head-bone to the problem for an hour and we came up with this list. Seal them in concrete and call it a time capsule. Send it to the Smithsonian with instructions to open…
(1)Loading...
Two Kiwi’s are working on a building site in Auckland. Phul (Phil) & Muck (Mick). Anyway Phul turns to Muck & says, “Cawww I’ve gotta take a piss, but there’s nowhere to go, eh.” “Walk out to the ind of thit plank,” replies Muck. “I’ll stand on this ind & balance ut.” “Are you sure, Muck?” “Yis, no worries” “100%?” “YIS!” So out goes Phul to take a piss & the lunch siren sounds, Muck forgets what he’s supposed to…
(7)Loading...
The death of Princess Di is one of those circumstances in life that you will always remember where you were. For me I was at a party. There was a lot of drinking going on and I was beyond hammered. One lady at the party came screaming and crying, “Lady Di has been killed! The papparazzi have killed Lady Di.” My response was “Papparazzi, that fat, opera singing bastard.”
(0)Loading...
Dear Customers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SOUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads “WINDERS 98” and has a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.…
(0)Loading...
A young, frazzled mother stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried around her. Her husband, coming down the stairs with every hair in place, asked why she was just standing there. “Here,” she said, handing him the coats. “This time, YOU put the children into their coats, and I’ll go sit in the car and honk the horn.”
(0)Loading...
A snail bought himself a snazzy fast car but took it in to get a more eye catching color. At the car paint shop, he asked that the car be painted neon yellow and have a large red ‘S’ printed on each side. Confused, the worker asked, “Why a big ‘S’?” Grinning, the snail replied, “When people see me drive past, they’ll notice and say, ‘Hey, look at that ‘S’ car go!’”
(4)Loading...
How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time Lick, paw, ogle, caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, dig, floralize, feed, laminate, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, bark, purr, hug, baste, marinate, coddle, excite, pacify, tattoo, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, tunnel, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, ululate, trust, dip, twirl, dive,…
(0)Loading...
Signs you’re in college: -You rarely have $5 in your pocket. -A grilled cheese sandwich is a major food group to you. -You have little or no idea what you want to do with your life. -There is drool damage in two or more of your textbooks. -Your body starts going through withdrawal, when you go more than two days w/o pizza. -Your computer costs more and runs better than your car. -Your history prof asks “Who was General Lee?”…
(0)Loading...
During a rather rowdy party, one unattached female guest kept disappearing into a back bedroom with one man after another, including the host. This did not go unnoticed by the host’s wife, who was quietly smoldering, but kept her composure, so as not to ruin the party. It was still fairly early when “Miss Willing” approached the hostess, looking somewhat frazzled and rumpled. “I’m sorry to rush off,” she exclaimed, “but I don’t feel too well.” “Of course, I understand,…
(0)Loading...