Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A young Christian sweetie came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, “Jeff proposed to me tonight.” “Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked. “Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a hell.” Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is.”
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There was this Christian lady who had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so she did a lot of flying. Flying made her nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time on an airplane, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing. After awhile, he turned…
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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station… What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men? Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP? If Stop & Shop and the A&P were to merge would it be called Stop & P? I believe five out of…
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A Scottish atheist was spending a quiet day fishing in the lake when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air. It then opened its mouth waiting below to swallow them both. As the Scotsman sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”…
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An atheist was hunting one day in a deep woods and while spotting a deer he took aim but his gun jammed. Hearing a noise behind him he turned to see a ferocious Grizzly drooling and growling as it approached him. He immediately fell to the ground and re-thinking his beliefs he called out: “GOD, if you exist, please… take this bear away! He then heard a voice from above. “You of all people want my help? You denied me…
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1. If the enemy is in range, so are you. 2. Incoming fire has the right of way. 3. Don’t look conspicuous, it draws fire. ( For this reason aircraft carriers have been called “Bomb Magnets.”) 4. There is always a way. 5. The easy way is always mined. 6. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo. (Trivia devotees will recall the sudden disappearance of rank and distinctive caps on the uniforms worn by Soviet officers in…
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These epitaphs were taken from actual tombstones: On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: “Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young.” In a London, England cemetery: “Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid, But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767” In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: “The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.”…
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An atheist complained to a friend, “Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter; Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur; Muslims have their holidays, too. EVERY religion has it holidays. But we atheists,” he said, “have no recognized national holidays. It’s an unfair discrimination.” His friend replied, “Well,…Why don’t you celebrate April 1?”
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What do you get if you cross a Jehovah’s Witness with an Atheist? Someone who knocks on your door for no reason.
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An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout, “PRAISE THE LORD!” Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations that he would shout, “There ain’t no Lord!” Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for God to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted, “PRAISE THE LORD! God,…
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