Army Jokes

Army Ranger Training

An Army Ranger Instructor was training a new class of recruits in the field. They finished the day of exercises by a river and camped for the night. The next morning the instructor woke up and went to the river to relieve himself. While doing his business an alligator came out of the water and snapped its mouth down on the instructor’s penis. Finding himself in intense pain, he wanted to scream, but did not want to show any sings…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeArmy Ranger Training

Popular Joke Searches

Sum Yung Guy Mable None Of Your Business Windshield Wipers Sharon Peters Wvu Football Lopsided Breasts Marzipan Knights Of Columbus Pussy Willow Green Hair Overbite Erie Canal Liberace Thora Hird Broad Shoulders Feather Boa Heavy Breathing Italian Accent Pinochle Army Corps Of Engineers Little Red Wagon Buzzard Milk Of Magnesia Snow Shoes Green With Envy Anticipation Buttermilk Freddy Holiness Penis Envy Betsy Ross Quiff Pool Boy Gratitude Search And Rescue Valley Forge Fire Sprinkler System Senorita Keith Sweat Gold Teeth…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokePopular Joke Searches

Damn Yankees

During the American Civil War, a particular captured Confederate soldier was a hard man to handle. Constantly, in his soft drawl, he would say, “Anyway, we beat the hell out of you sniveling Yankee dogs at Fredericksburg.” The Northern sergeant in charge could not punish the impertinent prisoner as he would have liked because there was a drive on at the time to make sure that prisoners were treated humanely. Finally, however, he could stand it no more. He marched…

(3)Loading...

Read JokeDamn Yankees

A Very Brave Soldier, Indeed

A Navy Admiral, a Marine General and an Army General were having some drinks at the officer’s club in a major military base. After a few rounds of iced tea, the Navy Admiral boasted, “You know, the Navy has the bravest fighting men ever to serve in the Armed Forces. I can prove it to you all.” Before the others could protest, the Admiral proceeded to phone his headquarter and asked for the best Navy Seal in his command to…

(4)Loading...

Read JokeA Very Brave Soldier, Indeed

If NOAH was in the USA today…..

The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark.” In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed…

(6)Loading...

Read JokeIf NOAH was in the USA today…..

The Lord & Noah

The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “I’m very angry with the way things are going on earth — this is not what I had in mind! I have accordingly decided to destroy it and start over! In 6 months I’m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water just like before, and all the evil is destroyed; if not, I will wring it out like an old sponge. But rather than start from scratch,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Lord & Noah

Time to Get Up!

A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. “Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army,” the general said. “Nothing to it–you’ll catch on again fast.” Next morning, promptly at eight o’clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general’s bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around to…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTime to Get Up!

What To Do With Thanksgiving Leftovers

Part of my friend’s job as a technical writer is to help produce the company newsletter which goes to their clients. He was asked to come up with a list (ala Letterman’s Top Ten List) of funny things one can do with Thanksgiving leftovers. He applied my head-bone to the problem for an hour and we came up with this list. Seal them in concrete and call it a time capsule. Send it to the Smithsonian with instructions to open…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeWhat To Do With Thanksgiving Leftovers