Arm pit hair Jokes

Bigger Breasts at Any Cost

Once there was this woman who was, sad to say, very flat chested. Year after year of seeing beautiful, large-breasted women walking away with handsome guys finally got the best of her. She decided that she would have large tits at any cost. At first she went to a breast treatment center and asked for larger breasts. After several weeks, despite all the injections and fillers they had given her, her breasts were no larger. She despaired. She went everywhere,…

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15 Yo Mama’s

1) Yo momma’s so fat she’s got more crack than Harlem! 2) Yo momma’s so stupid she tried to take a Chia pet for a walk! 3) Yo momma’s so stupid she thought Hamburger Helper came with somebody! 4) Yo momma’s arm pits are so hairy she looks like she has Don King in a headlock! 5) Yo momma’s so cheap she charged admission to the Thanksgiving dinner! 6) Yo momma’s so stupid she tried to study for a blood…

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Redneck Love Poem

Collards is green my dog’s name is Blue and I’m so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue’s and without all them fleas. You move like the bass which excite me in May. You ain’t got no scales but I luv you anyway. Yo’re as satisfy’n as okry jist a-fry’n in the pan Yo’re as fragrant as “snuff” right out of the can. You have some’a yore…

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Bar Ballerina

A woman with very hairy armpits walks into a bar and sits down at a table in a dimly lit corner. She raises her hand to order a drink, and a drunken man at the bar says, rather loudly, to the bartender, “I’ll buy the drink for that ballerina!” The bartender, rather confused by the ballerina comment, complies, and brings the woman a free drink. A short while later, the woman with the hairy armpits raises her hand again to…

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The 25 Things I’ve Learned In Life…

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. 2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time. 3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor. 4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment. 5. You should never say…

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Shower Power

How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so you can complain and whine even more about how you’re getting fat. 4. Get in the shower.…

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TONS of Blonde Jokes

1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…

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Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

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Whole Lotta Yo Mama

SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…

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Moses and Bush

George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long, flowing, white robe with a long, flowing, white beard and flowing, white hair. The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm. George W. approached the man and inquired, “Aren’t you Moses?” The man ignored George W. and stared at the ceiling. George W. positioned himself more directly in the man’s view and asked again, “Aren’t you Moses?” The man…

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