Ace Jokes

Obama: Trump’s Wild Paracetamol-Autism Theory Is ‘Violence Against The Truth’

Obama: Trump’s Wild Paracetamol-Autism Theory Is ‘Violence Against The Truth’. Former President Obama has weighed in on his successor’s rather… unique claims. Apparently, the idea that a common painkiller (you know, the one branded Tylenol in the US, good old paracetamol!) somehow causes autism is so out there, it’s not just a fib, it’s ‘violence against the truth’ ?. Obama lamented that such claims not only undermine public health but could also ‘do harm to women’. One might wonder what…

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Celebrity Fighter Discovers Presidential Race Involves, Shockingly, ‘Rules’ and ‘Paperwork’

Well, who saw this coming? ? After vowing to curb immigration and ‘shore up Irish culture,’ a famous mixed martial arts fighter has officially pulled out of Ireland’s presidential race. Apparently, the world of politics isn’t quite like the octagon. The fighter complained that the nomination rules were a ‘straitjacket,’ preventing a ‘true democratic contest.’ It seems the rigorous process of, you know, running a country, was a bit too much for someone who prefers headlocks to legislative loopholes. He…

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Read JokeCelebrity Fighter Discovers Presidential Race Involves, Shockingly, ‘Rules’ and ‘Paperwork’

France Gets a ‘Sad Face’ on Its Financial Report Card as Debt Climbs and Leaders Argue Over the Check

France Gets a ‘Sad Face’ on Its Financial Report Card as Debt Climbs and Leaders Argue Over the Check. ? Fitch, the no-nonsense financial principal, has officially given France a less-than-stellar grade, downgrading its credit rating from a ‘respectable’ AA- to a ‘just-passing’ A+. This marks France’s lowest score on record at a major agency, making efforts to control national finances as complicated as trying to assemble IKEA furniture with missing instructions. ?? A leader resembling President Macron and his…

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Singer ‘Self Esteem’ Cast as Raging Rock Star, Proving Inner Peace Can Also Shred Guitars

In a casting decision that has us all chuckling into our tea, the artist known professionally as Self Esteem is set to embrace her inner turmoil as a “raging rock star” in a revival of David Hare’s ‘Teeth ’n’ Smiles’. ? It seems even those with stellar self-worth can channel pure, unadulterated stage fury! Rebecca Lucy Taylor, the woman behind the wonderfully ironic moniker, will tackle the role of Maggie in a 50th-anniversary production hitting London in March. Fun fact:…

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Read JokeSinger ‘Self Esteem’ Cast as Raging Rock Star, Proving Inner Peace Can Also Shred Guitars

Pigs in Space

NASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blonde. When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: “Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us, over.” “Oink, oink. Pig 1 here, Houston, read you loud and clear!” “Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?” “Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing,…

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Job Placement Test

A new assessment exercise… Does your organization struggle with the problem of properly fitting people to jobs? Here is a handy hint for ensuring success in job placement. Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing. If they have taken the table apart…

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Everybody’s Free (To Embrace the Dark Side of the Force)

This appeared in a local Sunday magazine recently. For those unfamiliar with the Star Wars saga, James Earl Jones was the voice of that great villain Darth Vader. But those Star Wars fans will surely appreciate this fanciful article : Supposedly James Earl Jones is Vassar College’s Commencement speaker for this year. Oddly, this event coincides with the release of the much awaited “Phantom Menace” and the unexpected popularity of Baz Luhrmann’s “Sunscreen Song” (which, if you haven’t had your…

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Space,the moon,and the sun

It is the year 1998.The US, Russia and Poland were at a huge international space meeting in Moscow. The US gets up on the stage, so they tell about their space program. “We have accomplished alot in space technology,we have had men on the moon,we have sent up many satellites.” They go on about the program for about 30 minutes. Then it’s Russia’s turn,so they get up there and tell about their program. “Well, we have sent men to the…

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