Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, “Give me Liberty, or give me death?” She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up, “Patrick Henry, 1775,” said the boy. “Now,” said the teacher, “Who said ‘Government of the people, by the…
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Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2. Advising the President. 3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
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One day a hillbilly walks into a police station because he wants to get a job as a deputy, which he’s wanted to be his whole life. So he goes over to the sheriff’s desk and says to the sheriff,”I’m hear to be a deputy.” The sheriff laughs and says, “Well lets see if you’re qualified, son.” The sheriff asks him a question and the hillbilly gives him an answer. The sheriff says, “Close enough.” The sheriff then asks him,…
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It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this. Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today.” Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart and will answer the question.” Teacher: “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?” Before Johnny can open his mouth,…
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A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a Rabbi, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Torah a little and get your hair cut and we’ll talk about it.” After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss…
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What happens when a president gets elected in a year with a “O” at the end? 1840: William Henry Harrison (Died in Office) 1860: Abraham Lincoln (Assassinated) 1880: James A. Garfield (Assassinated) 1900: William McKinley (Assassinated) 1920: Warren G. Harding (Died in Office) 1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt (Died in Office) 1960: John F. Kennedy (Assassinated) 1980: Ronald Reagan (Survived Assassination Attempt) And to think that we have 2 guys duking it out in the courts to be the one elected…
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One night Bill Clinton dreams he meets George Washington. He says “Washington, what can I do to make things better for the people?” Washinton says “Lower the Taxes.” Bill says “I can do that.” The next night he dreams he meets Thomas Jefferson. He asks “Jefferson, what can I do to make things better for the people?” Jefferson answers “LOWER the TAXES!” Bill says “I’m working on that!” On the third night he dreams he meets Abraham Lincoln. Again he…
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An old, bearded shepherd, with a crooked staff, walks up to a stone pulpit and says… And lo it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far, from town to…
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Bill Clinton was in the oval office, breathing a sigh of relief after being found not guilty in the Monica Lewinsky trial, when he found out he now may be found guilty in Contempt of Court in the Paula Jones case. “Oh, God!” Bill cried, “Please have mercy on me!” Immediately there was a bright light in the room and a voice boomed from the light. “Bill, this is God,” the voice said, “and I will grant you any three…
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And remember that it’s ALL COMPLETELY TRUE… ************************************* Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both were shot in the head.…
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