Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, “You say you’ve been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem?” The wife replies, “It’s my husband — he’s driving me crazy! I’m going to leave him if he continues!” “How does he drive you crazy?” “For 20 years,” she says, “he’s been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he’s always looking at the…
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God created the mule and told him, “you are mule. You will work constantly from dawn to dusk, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years.” The mule answered, “To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 30.” And it was so. Then God created the dog and told him, “You are dog. You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of…
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Three of the tennis foursome head for the showers after the match. The fourth one just gets into his car and goes home. This happens every week–the same three shower, number four, doesn’t. Finally, one guy asks him why he doesn’t shower after playing tennis; he is, after all, just as hot and sweaty as the other three. “To tell you the truth,” he says, “I’m kind of shy about being naked in front of other guys. To be perfectly…
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This man goes to a wizard and says, “All powerful wizard, can you help me?” The wizard says, “Help you with what?” The man says, “I had an evil curse put on me 20 years ago and I wanted you to dispel the curse.” The wizard pauses for a moment and says, “I can help you if you tell me the exact words used to put the curse on you.” Thinking long, the man said, “It’s hard to remember cause…
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Will you remember me in 20 years??? (Wait) Will you remember me in 15??? (Wait) Will you remember me in 10??? (Wait) Will you remember me in 5??? (Wait) Knock Knock Who’s there??? See, you forgot me already!
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If foreign films are so good, how come they don’t make them in this country? Definition of an optimist: an accordian player with a beeper. Old age is when you tell a friend you’re having an affair and he says, “That’s wonderful! Who’s the caterer?” Part of the trouble with doing nothing in life is that you never know when you’re through. Tractor pulls were invented so professional wrestling fans would have someone to look down on. Opieology: a religion…
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What follows is the Commencement address that was thought to have been given by: Kurt Vonnegut recently at MIT **************************************** Turns out that he didn’t, but it got back to him, he read it, and said he wished that he had written it. Lenochka **************************************** Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’98: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,…
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There was this man crying on his porch and his wife walked out. “Why are you crying?” she asked. “Well,” began her husband,”remember how your father said I had to marry you or else I would go to jail for 20 years since i got you pregnant?” “Yes,” she started,”but that still doesn’t explain why your crying.” “Well,” he began,”I would have gotten out today.”
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A wife is going through her husband’s closet one day when she finds a metal box. Inside the box she finds 3 golf balls and $20,000. She immediately goes downstairs and confronts him with it. Wife: “What is this box for?” Husband: “Well, every time we had bad sex I put a golf ball in the box.” The wife thought this was pretty good seeing as how they had been married for 20 years. Wife: “What is the $20,000 for?”…
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One night a married woman awoke to a moaning sound and found her husband wasn’t in bed with her. Getting worried the woman went downsairs but to no avail could she find her husband. She was ready to go back to bed when she heard the moaning sob again, only it was coming from the basement. After going down into the basement she found her husband balled up in a corner crying his eyes out. When she asked him what…
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