Sexual (and other) observations
(No Ratings Yet)
Loading ...1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. NOTHING improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered, take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has NO calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex, but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got, and 50% what people think you’ve got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get, nor how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man, are usually the same ones she can’t stand, years later.
16. Sex is dirty, only if it is done right.
17. It is ALWAYS the “wrong” time of the month.
18. The best way to hold a man, is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful. They are also the same color.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are that you won’t, either.
21. Sow your “wild oats” on Saturday night, then pray on Sunday for “crop failure”.
22. The younger, the better.
23. The game of love is NEVER “called” on account of darkness.
24. It wasn’t the apple in the tree, but the “pair” on the ground that caused that-there trouble in Eden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
26. Ask the following: “B4 I 4Q, R U 18?”
27. Before you find your handsome prince, you must kiss a LOT of frogs.
28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like sex.
29. Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.
30. Love is a hole in the heart.
31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hotdog stands on the MOON!
32. Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.
33. Do “it” ONLY with the BEST.
34. “sex” is a 3-letter word which needs some old-fashioned 4-letter words to convey its full meaning.
35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
36. You cannot produce a baby in one month, by impregnating nine women.
37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
38. ‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.
39. Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless the mood strikes you.
40. Never lie down with a person who has more troubles than you do.
41. Abstain from wine, women and song; mostly song.
42. Never argue with a woman when she’s pissed, or when she isn’t.
43. A woman never forgets the man she could have had, while the man never forgets the women he could NEVER have.
44. What matters is NOT the length of the wand, but the skill of the “magician”.
45. It is preferable to be looked over, than overlooked.
46. NEVER say “No”.
47. A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he doesn’t love her.
48. Folks playing “Nude Leapfrog” MUST complete all jumps.
49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
50. NEVER stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
51. A man is only a man, but a good bike is a RIDE!
52. Love comes in SPURTS.
53. The world does not revolve on an axis.
54. Sex is one of the 9 reasons for reincarnation. The other 8 are unimportant.
55. Smile! (It makes people wonder what you’re up to.)
56. Don’t start it, if you can’t finish it.
57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool, when they fall in love.
58. Never go to bed mad. Instead, stay up, fight, and entertain the neighbors!
59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
60. Most people have sex on the “sperm” of the moment.
Tags: no hard feelings, wild oats, man in the house is worth two in the street, crop failure, handsome prince
Related articles:
