Jokes News

A blonde, a brunette, and a black man were driving in a convertible. As they drove on a narrow road, a semi broadsided them and their car plunged off a cliff into the lake.

Unharmed, the brunette and black man swam to the surface. They couldn’t find the blonde anywhere! A few minutes later, the blonde finally came to the surface.

“Where were you?” they asked.

The blonde replied, “I couldn’t get the door open!”

Q: Did you hear about the Indian who drank 24 cups of tea?

A: He died in his teapee.

Do you guys know that kids these days are having sex at a younger age?

Its true…just the other day a 14 year old sister to one of my dearest friends had gotten drunk and had sex!

My friend was too upset to talk to her so he asked me to!

I went to the young girl and said ” first off …. What we did was wrong!!!!”

Texans already know this, but for the REST of ya’ll, there are THREE Texas towns, located along the same highway. These small towns are Helen, Comfort and Louise.

In the little village of Comfort, outside one of the local motels, is the following sign:

“SLEEP IN COMFORT TONIGHT, BETWEEN HELEN AND LOUISE.”

This guy walked into a bar a nude bar he sat down at the counter and told the bartender he wanted to get fucked. This guy was 30 years old and still a virgin, pretty damn pathetic if you ask me. Anyway this man was somewhat desperate. So he asks the bartender where he could go to get fucked.

The bartender pauses for a moment (seeing how desprate this guy is) and he gives the guy an address to go to so he could get fucked. Well the utterly desprate man leaves the bar all excited and cheerful and goes to the address the bartender gave him.

He arrives at the address and rings the doorbell. A tall well built man walks to the door and the desperate man tells this tall man I want to get fucked.

The tall man looks down at this desperate pathetic man (Trying not to bust out laughing in his face) and says slide 100 dollars under the door and I’ll make sure you get fucked.

So the man slides 100 dollars under the door and stands waiting patiently.

After about ten minutes of waiting the man rings the doorbell again and once more the tall well built man answers the door and the desperate and anxious man asks him, “When am I going to get fucked?!” and the tall man says, “You just did.”

Two blondes walk into a building…
Don’t you think one of them would have seen it?

A blonde goes to her first football game with her boyfriend. At halftime her boyfriend asks her, “So what do you think?” The blonde replies “It’s pretty cool but I don’t get why they are fighting over a quarter” he asks, “What do you mean?” She answers, “Every time one of the teams has the ball the other is yelling, “GET THE QUARTER BACK!”