One day after a pleasurable night of screwing a patient Mr. Bob was talking to one of his friends. Mr. Bob told his friend how he felt so embarassed about what he had done. His friend told him not to worry about it because a doctor always screws at least one patient. then his friend says “Hey Bob! Reality check here. Your a vet.”

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn’t get anyone to play with them. They thought it was because they weren’t baptized.

So they went to the nearest church. Only the custodian was there. One kid said, “We’ve got to be baptized ’cause no one will play with us. Will you baptize us?”

So the custodian took them in the bathroom and dunked them in the toilet bowl, one at a time. He said, “Now, go out and play.”

When they got outside dripping wet, the oldest one asked, “What religion are we? We’re not Catholic ’cause they pour the water on you, and we’re not Baptist ’cause they dunk your whole body.”

The youngest one said, “I smelled that water, and I know what we are. We’re Pisscopalians.”

A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was playing with extra-ordinary skill.

“That is a very smart dog,” the man commented.

“He’s really not so smart,” said one of the players. “Every time he gets a good hand . . . he wags his tail!”

Q: Why don’t single girls fart?

A: They don’t have assholes til they get married.

These are true stories supposedly…

* Don’t let worry kill you- let the church help.

* Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

* For those of you who have children and didn’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

* The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

* This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

* Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

* Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing “Put me in my little bed” accompanied by the pastor.

* Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be “Little Mothers” will meet with the pastor in his study.

* This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.

* The service will close with “Little Drops of Water”. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

* Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.

* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

* A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.