Archive for October 31st, 2006

A F**kin’ Good Time

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006 | Posted in Funny Stories
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A soldier, filled with obvious triumph, returned from his twenty-four hour pass and was besieged by his buddies who wanted to know, in detail, how he had made out.

The soldier, nothing loath, said gleefully, “What a piece of fuckin’ luck I had. I hadn’t been off camp more than half an hour when I met this fuckin’ broad and she was STACKED! We got to talking and I took her out for some fuckin’ hamburgers. Then we went to a fuckin’ movie where we got friendly. Then she took me to her fuckin’ apartment and in less than five minutes I had every fuckin’ stitch off her.”

He paused for breath and everyone cried out, “So what happened? What happened?”

And the soldier said, “What do you think happened, you fuckin’ jerks, we had sexual intercourse.”


I’m Going to Live Forever— So Far, So Good!

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006 | Posted in Funny Stories
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At age seventy, British conductor and organist Sir Malcolm Sargent was asked by an interviewer: “To what do you attribute your advanced age?”

“Well,” replied the conductor, “I suppose I must attribute it to the fact that I haven’t died yet.”

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Taste of Eighty

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006 | Posted in Questions Answers
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Q: What does an eighty-year old woman taste like?
A: “Depends”

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where can i find really amusing jokes for teens with innocent minds and with no adult content ?

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006 | Posted in Funny Stories
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please answer if u know . and please do not answer only for d heck of it. if u feel any thing is even slightly related , then please tell me about it. i really need this and quickly, as quickly as possible. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- D

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Mouse Ball Replacement Memo

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006 | Posted in Computer, Office
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I don’t know how they wrote this with a straight face. This apparently was a real memo sent at a computer company to its employees in all seriousness…

This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor.

Subject: “Mouse Balls”

Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit).
Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method.

Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.”

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