One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws.

At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. By this time, everyone had left the bar and driven off.

Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away. However, the police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0.

The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. With a smile on his face, the driver replied, “Tonight, I’m the designated decoy!”

A girl burdened by a wood eye was always made fun of as a child. She was always called “woodeye”.

So at her prom after being rejected for the last time she thought to herself, “Okay I am gonna ask this one last guy to dance and if he makes fun of me he is gonna get smacked.”

So as she approached the nerdiest boy in school she asked, “Would you like to dance?”

In reply the boy yelled, “WOULD I!!”

“SMACK!!!!!” =)

YOUR BREATH SMELLs SO BAD, WHEN YOU BREATH YOUR TEETH TAKE COVER

should you be scared? What does that mean? Why would he say that?

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Here's a riddle: If a red house is made of red bricks, a black house is made of black bricks, a blue house is made of blue bricks, and a white house is made of white bricks, what is a greenhouse made of? (it's better if it's spoken, when you get the answe