A health inspector walks up to a hot dog stand and orders a hot dog. The vendor grabs a hot dog with his dirty hands, slaps it in a bun and gives it to the inspector. The inspector says “This is a recipe for disease. I’m a health inspector and am closing you down. You have 3 weeks to get your act together.”

The health inspector returns in 3 weeks and orders another hot dog. The vendor uses clean tongs to pick up to hot dog, then uses a fresh napkin to pick up the bun. The inspector likes what he sees. As he takes a bite of his hot dog, he notices a small string coming out of the man’s fly.

“What’s that for?” asks the inspector.

“Oh, it’s so when I go tho the bathroom I don’t have to touch it to take it out.”

The health inspector is very pleased. He then asks, “Well, how do you get it back in?”

The hot dog man replies, “I use the tongs.”

The National Science Foundation has just completed a study on the recreational habits of corporate america.

The sport of choice for maintenance employees is bowling.

The sport of choice for front line workers is football.

The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball.

The sport of choice for middle managers is tennis.

The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf.

The conclusion of the study indicates that the higher one is on the corporate ladder the smaller the balls become.

Once their was 3 men.
They all went to the pool.
The lifeguard walked over to them and said,”Did you know that if you jumped into this pool and yelled something that you really wanted it will come true?”
The men said,”This is so untrue.”
Then the lifeguard said,”Just try it.”

So they thought about it then they said,”O.K.”
The first guy jumped and yelled,”MONEY.” And he landed in a pool filled with money.

The second one did the same but,yelled out,”CANDY.”
And he landed in a pool filled with candy.

But,the third one was very clumsy. He did not watch where he was going. When jumping he tripped over a rock and said,”SHIT!” And he also landed in what he wanted.

My lesson to you is be carefull of what you wish for.

_{-- Deliver}