Jokes News

1) The Romans had no letter “U” in their alphabet.

2) The Romans used the letter “V” for “U.”

3) Using the Roman alphabet: CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR becomes CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR.

4) Extracting the Roman numerals from CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR, we get C, V, V, L, D, I, V.

5) Substitute the decimal equivalents for the Roman numerals: C=100, V=5, L=50, D=500, I=1.

6) Add all decimal equivalents: C=100, V=5, V=5, L=50, D=500, I=1, V=5

7) The total of the above numbers is 666.
In the Bible, 666 is the mark of the Beast.

9) The Beast is Satan.

10) Therefore . . .

Your momma is so old she was a waitress at the last supper.

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Q. What is the difference between a Fox and a Dog?

A. About 5 drinks!

TO DRIVE A BMW YOU HAVE TO WEAR THE RIGHT CLOTHES,TALK ON THE RIGHT CELL PHONE, USE THE RIGHT TENNIS RACQUET, DRINK THE RIGHT BOTTLED WATER.

ALL A COWBOY HAS TO REMEMBER IS……….THE SADDLEHORN GOES IN FRONT!

Q: Who is 100% responsible for the all these hassles- Bill, Monica, Starr, Cigar, Blue dress, Paula, impeachment etc…

A: Hillary. She knows what is Blow and what is Job, but does not know what is a Blow-Job. (Sorry Bill, better luck next time).

What do you get when you cross a rooster and a jar of peanut butter?

A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde”.

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”