Jokes News

A proposed revision to the rules of golf is being sought in South Florida, which will replace the traditional call of “FORE.” Once a player has hit an errant shot, he will be allowed to call “GORE,” while the ball is still in flight. He can then replace the ball in the same spot and hit it again.

The player can do this until he is satisfied the ball is going where he intended to hit it in the first place. This will cause the time of play to be extended until such time as the player can claim the hole.

This revision is causing some consternation to the PGA, but proponents say it is only fair.

A recent test of this new rule was recently played out in an exclusive club in Palm Beach County, Florida, and the the first hole only took 7 days to complete!!!

One day, Little Johnny accompanied his Dad to the pharmacy. While waiting in line, Little Johnny noticed a shelf full of condoms in different packs. So he asked his Dad, “What’s the three-pack of condoms for?”

His Dad replied with a smile, “The three-pack is what you will use when you’re in high school. Two for Friday, one for Saturday.”

Little Johnny nodded and then asked, “How about the six-pack?”

Again his Dad flashed a wide grin and said, “The six-pack is what you need when you’re in college. Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday.”

“Oh I see,” said Little Johnny. “And the twelve-pack?”

His Dad’s grin vanished and he just sighed, “The twelve-pack is what you will use when you’re married. One for January, one for February, one for March, one for April …”

whoever i pick whoever got da best little johnny joke gets 10 points!!!! goody good good!!!!! no feed me jokes!!!!!

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any length

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An attorney was driving through the country side when his car failed him.

He looked under the hood and knocked a few items around with a hammer. In the process, he knocked off a gas line and got his arm soaked with gas before getting it back on. Discouraged, he attempted to start his car. Much to his surprise, it started and he headed for the nearest town for a permanent repair.

To celebrate his success, he lit up a cigarette, at which time his arm exploded into flames. He stuck his arm out the window hoping the wind, at 50 miles per hour, would put it out.

He was promptly pulled over by a local constable and given a ticket for the illegal use of a firearm.

What’s the difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo?

At a straight rodeo, they yell, “Ride that sucker!”

A Frenchman, an Italian and an American are heading off to war when the Frenchman bragged that he made love to his wife 3 times last night to say goodbye.

“Yeah, well I made love to my wife 6 times last night to say goodbye to her,” the Italian boasted.

“What about you, Mr. American?” asked the Frenchman.

“I only made love to my wife once last night.”

“Is that all? What did she say this morning ?”

“Don’t stop!”

What's the best "yo momma" joke ever?

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Question: Why do women talk so much?

Answer: Because they have got two sets of lips, one is horizontal and another is vertical.

One morning a young 3 year old boy sat at the kitchen table in front of a bowl of cereal, thinking. When his mother noticed his thoughtful expression she thought it better not to disturb him.

Later that afternoon the boy was still sitting there with a very concentrated expression. His mother was then curious but then decided just to leave him there.

That night at dinner, he was still sitting at the table, chin in hand, with great thought in his eyes. Well, his mother thought this rather strange for a young 3 year old boy and finally felt obligated to find out what he was up to.

“Honey what are you doing? You have been sitting at that table all day, what is the matter?”

Her son, disturbed by the interuption, looked up at her, suddenly he smiled,

“Well momma, I have been thinking about it all day, and, well, there isn’t a single thing that I can think of that I don’t know!”