Jokes News

Q. What is the difference between an intelligent blonde & Bigfoot.

A. There are some people who actually think that they have seen Bigfoot

averrrrrrrrrrrry stupid one around him 40 devils why???? one tells him evil idea and 39 explain the idea 4 him. hahahahahahaha

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You no when a girl is having a bad day when she has a tampon behind her ear and is asking you were her pencil is

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There were two old boys from Alabama who loved to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing.

They’d heard the fishing was really good up in Canada, so they took off up there. The lake was nicely frozen over. They went to this bait shop to get the tackle they would need. One of them said, “Oh, and we’re gonna need an ice pick, too.”

So they got that and took off. In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, “We need another dozen ice picks.”

The fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn’t. He sold him the picks, and the old boy left.

In about an hour, he was back and said, “We’re need all the ice picks you’ve got.”

The bait man couldn’t stand it any longer. “By the way,” he asked, “how are you fellows doing?”

“Not very well at all,” he said. “We don’t even have the boat in the water yet.”

A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims.

So the owner of the shop goes in the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, “Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000.” “No problem! I’ll write you a check!”

“Very good, sir.” says the shop owner.

“Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared.”

So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged: “How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn’t a single penny in your checking account!!”

“I just had to come by,” grinned the guy, “to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!”

if barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

for sale: parachute. only used once, never opened, small stain.

why do psychics have to ask you your name?

early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

i intend to live for ever so far so good.

24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case. coincidence? i think not.

if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

what happens if you get scared half to death twice?

i poured spot remover on my dog & now he’s gone.

all those who belive in psychokinesis raise my hand.

You can use the word in whatever form ie flash a smile, flash light, etc, make it as funny as possible... not gross though.

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During a practical exercise at a military police base, the instructor was giving the class instruction in unarmed self-defense. After he presented a number of different situations in which they might find themselves, he asked a student, "What steps would