Jokes News

why was piglet looking down the toilet? he was looking for pooh!!!! (he then goes into hysterical laughter)

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Here are some of mine: - Chuck Norris has 2 speeds. Walk and kill. - On his birthday, Chuck Norris can blowout the candles by blinking - Chuck Norris once ate an entire birthday cake before his friends could tell him about the stripper inside. - Chuck Nor

Shit may just be the most powerful word in the English language.

You can be shit faced,
shit out of luck,
or have shit for brains

With a little effort,
you can get your shit together,
find a place for your shit or
decide to shit or get off the pot.

You can smoke shit,
buy shit,
sell shit,
lose shit,
find shit,
forget shit,
and tell others to eat shit and die.

Some people know their shit
while others
can’t tell the difference
between
shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits,
dumb shits,
crazy shits,
and sweet shits.

There is bull shit,
horse shit,
chicken shit and
holy shit!

You can throw shit,
sling shit,
catch shit,
or duck when shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit
or
serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit
or
Be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit,
some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit,
things can look like shit,
smell like shit,
taste like shit,
and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit,
not enough shit,
the right shit,
the wrong shit or
a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit,
have a mountain of shit,
or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

When you stop to consider all the facts,
it’s the basic building block of creation.

And remember, once you know your shit,
you don’t need to know anything else!

Pass this along if you give a shit!!

Q: why did the pregnant lady go to the personnel manager?
A: because she had labour problems

Do you find a show or sitcom more entertaining when it is more about plot comedy, where the funny things are what happen in the plot. or funny and witty lines within the show.

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Tags: witty lines, funny things, sitcom, comedy, joke

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