Jokes News

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, “I bet I know what it is - It’s some flowers!”

“That’s right!” shouted the little boy.

Then candy store owner’s daughter handed the teacher a gift. She shook it and said, “I bet I know what it is - It’s a box of candy!”

“That’s right!” shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner’s son. The teacher held it up and saw it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. “Is it wine?” she asked. “No” said the little boy. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. “Is it champagne?” she asked.

“No” the boy answered.

Finally, the teacher said, “I give up. What is it?

The boy replied, “A puppy!”

How does a blonde kill a cop ?

Shhe throws a doughnut off a cliff

Why does the Avon lady walk so strange? ? ?

Her lipstick.

Two Italian men were sitting behind a woman on a bus.
“Emma come first,” one of the men said to the other. “Denna I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Denna two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Denna I come oncea more.”
“You pigs,” the lady yelled. “In this country, we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”
“Hey, coola down, lady,” the one man said. “Imma justs tellun him howa to spella Mississippi.”

US humorist, illustrator and poet Oliver Herford was traveling on a trolley one day with his young nephew on his lap. The car was so crowded that when an attractive blonde entered, she was obliged to stand. Herford have her an admiring look and said to his nephew, “My boy, why don’t you get up and give the lady your seat?”

Q. How do you sink a Polish sumbmarine?

A. You knock on the door.

Q. How do you stop a Polish tank.

A. You shoot the guy pushing it.

B:Bill’s
I:In
T:Trouble
C:Call
H:Hillary

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing.”

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the 1200 students who went to move 26 cars return to class.”

How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

I’ll tell you tomorrow

Q: Why is it that more husbands die before their wives?

A: Because they want to!